Alright, hopefully this is going to be funny, and not completely sad. Here are a few things I have learned in the last few weeks about being pregnant:
1. You may hike “but not on uneven terrain or at high altitude”…so you may NOT hike? Confusing.
2. Don’t leave the house without eating and/or packing a 5 course meal. You will get sick. Very, very sick.
3. A waffle with ice cream is not an acceptable dinner for baby. Baby will make you throw it up. 5 times.
4. Drink plenty of water…like GALLONS of water…and eat tons of fruit and veg. If you don’t, bad things will happen in the pooping department. Trust me, bad things happen when you drink gallons of water AND eat tons of fruit an veg. So you can imagine…
5. Schedule naps or you’ll be at the will of narcolepsy.
6. Don’t jump up from a seated position. Sudden movements will lay you flat on the floor until your vision comes to and the blood reaches your head.
7. Don’t downhill ski, no matter how much you want to. Only uphill skiing is acceptable behaviour at this point.
8. Don’t jump or dive into pools due to the high risk of this behaviour. Oops…
9. No bicycling on wet pavement. At least it doesn’t say anything about motorcycles.
And last but definitely not least,
10. Don’t try on your skinny jeans. You will cry. For that matter, don’t even try on your fat jeans or you’ll cry harder.