Love Yourself First

Eleven months ago I was snapped out of the deep fog that I was in and awoke to this great need to be more, well, me. I realized that part of me was slowly dying and I needed help ASAP. I turned to the Divine, opened up communication with my angels, and never looked back.

The time had come to stop making excuses.

We have 3 young boys: presently 3, 2, and 9 months, and they were my evergreen excuse for everything and anything. “I’m tired. I’ll live my life when they grow up” sums it up. What I didn’t realize was that putting my life on hold was pretty much killing me. I had fallen out of love and I was suffering.

You simply cannot give love to others if you don’t love yourself first. That was the lesson I was learning. I send so much love and respect to stay at home moms. It is the hardest job anyone will ever have. For years I tried to love it but it just wasn’t me. I was so unhappy sacrificing my spirit that I had nothing left to give. I had it so backward. I needed to show myself some honest love. I needed to admit that I didn’t enjoy being a stay at home mother.

I thought that I had to give all of my love and all of my time to my kids – that’s why I had kids in the first place, right? I thought that I was a failure if I wanted anything other than to spend all of my time with them. But if you are not doing something that you absolutely love, if you are not giving love to yourself first, then you are withholding the only thing that is real from your spirit. I wasn’t doing anything to feed my spirit and I was suffocating. Between drowning in the fear of failure as a stay at home mother and the lack of oxygen my spirit was receiving, I was barely functioning. Throw my negative mindset into the heap and you have one very unhappy individual.

Once I let go of the belief that I had to be a servant to my children 24/7 and started to ask myself what I really wanted out of life, things started happening. Once you start to follow your bliss and start feeding your spirit, life gets magical. If there are excuses that you’re used to making, it’s time to call yourself out on it. Notice the patterns, the choices, the addictions, and start questioning the status quo. Are you growing, or are you wilting?


Most of the time, we hold ourselves back. We hold limiting beliefs that keep us right where we are. We build the boxes that we’re stuck in, and we build them ourselves. It’s not because we’re scared of not making it, but that we’re scared of what will happen in our lives if we DO make it.

There are choices that we have to make in life that we simply cannot come back from. Once our eyes are open, we can never close them. When we’ve tasted Divine love and grace, we want to share it with the world. Negativity will feel like a magnet pushing you away. Your ability to tolerate negativity will be high, and anyone and everyone who exhibits a lower frequency will fall away. When you start to focus on love, fear falls away as well. New opportunities and people will notice your high vibration and they will be attracted to it.

When I opened my eyes to Divine love, the world ceased to exist as I knew it. I came to know so many truths that I hadn’t even thought about before. I came to know that we are all Divine beings; we are one. Only love is real. Fear is an illusion that we create in our minds. Most things that we are fearful of, we have made up! If you are warm, dry, fed, and not in the path of an oncoming car, your fears are probably in your head.

The fear that you’re not good enough and that you don’t have what it takes to be successful? It’s in your head. And that fear that you’re not worthy of great love? It’s also in your head. Tell the Universe, your angels, and God what you want from life. Expect great things. Have the courage to rise out of fear and act out of love. Love yourself first, and you will see magical things happen in all of your relationships. Do the inner work and your outer world will start to reflect your inner world of great love.

What are you scared of? What is holding you back? Are you making excuses? Are you being truthful with yourself? Are you being truthful with others? Is there something that you want to do in life that you’re not doing? Why? Do you love yourself?

For example, finding productive time is really hard with 3 young kids.  Lately I’ve been getting up at 5am so that I can have time to myself.  I write, I work, I meditate, or I go to the gym.  It’s my time to follow my inspiration and I love it.  I get more done in those 2 hours than I do in an entire day looking after an infant!  It’s magic time when you are fresh off a night of sleep.  Your mind is calm and rested and laser focus is the norm.

Know that you are worth great love. Take the time to meditate each day and ask yourself some questions, even if can find only 5 minutes a day. Meditation time is one of the greatest gifts that we can give ourselves. It’s time that we use to connect with our Higher Selves. Ask for guidance and see what comes up for you. The results really could change your life.

Book recommendation:  I highly recommend The Courage to Love Yourself by Janice Parviainen.  It amazes me that Janice lives in my small town!  I have met her and her energy is amazing.  Her book is amazing.  It’s definitely at the top of my must read list for personal growth and empowerment!