Is Your Inner Child Running Your Life?

May 26, 2015May 26, 2015Leave a comment

innerchild

Whether we realize it or not, we carry a lot of baggage from the past. The abandonment we felt as children when our parents wouldn’t play with us, the betrayal we felt when our best friend chose to sleep over at someone else’s house instead of ours, and the sadness we felt when our beloved pet suddenly died – all reside deep within our subconscious mind.

Our inner child learns that we need to perform spectacularly if we want more attention. We become perfectionists. We learn that negative attention is better than no attention at all. We lash out in anger. We internalize the external, (I guess I’m not good enough to have Daddy’s attention), take things far too personally, and begin to talk badly to ourselves.

That inner child stays with us, yearning for the love, connection, and safety that eluded it over the years. When we lash out in anger at the smallest of details, it is a red flag that we have neglected our inner being for far too long. When we berate others for their shortcomings it is simply because we can’t stand to look at our own. We deflect. It’s much easier to point out what others are doing wrong than own up to our own failures. The funny thing is, others mirror our faults back to us. Whatever bothers us about someone is something that we need to work on!

Our actions are a direct representation of the way we feel about ourselves. The way we hold ourselves in public reflects the emotional terrain of our inner world. When we feel poorly about ourselves we tend to lash out at anyone near us – especially the ones we love. They have a front row seat to our baggage show. Our flipping out has nothing to do with the empty toilet paper roll, and everything to do with our need for love, connection, and fulfillment.

Denial of our problems is not a long term solution. Problems get bigger the longer we let them fester, not smaller. The fastest, easiest, and least painless way to deal with our inner unrest is to simply listen to it and begin to take care of the inner child that is begging to be heard, that inner being – the real you – that needs love and attention. Your inner being doesn’t need love and attention from just anyone, it needs it from YOU.

Now that you’re an adult, it is your responsibility to meet your inner being’s deepest emotional needs. If you don’t take responsibility for fulfilling these needs, the unrest will only worsen until there is a complete blowout (divorce, mid-life crisis, job termination, etc.) and you have no choice but to comply.

You are the only one who can give you what you need. When you take your power back from others and realize that you are fully capable of nurturing your inner being, your whole life will change. As you start to listen to your inner being you will build awareness around what it needs to feel happy, safe, and fulfilled. Take some time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be, and when you are the most you – what makes you really light up? Get silent sit in meditation, and let the answers come.

As you begin to act on this new awareness and the information it provides, you will feel whole, complete, safe, secure, and loved all on your own. You won’t feel the need to lash out at others because you will be following your heart, giving your inner being the love and attention it so desires. You won’t need to point out what everyone else is doing wrong because you won’t even notice it. In time, rather than focusing on everything that is going wrong, you will be excited about everything that is going right!

When you provide your inner being with unconditional love, you create a space within you to freely love others, flaws and all. When you love yourself, you don’t need to take power from others, for you will have all of the power you need already within. As you sit in the seat of awareness, always listening to your inner being, you are able to thwart or deal with perceived attacks on your inner being as they arise. Though the inner work never ends, neither do the soul-fulfilling payoffs, authentically beautiful relationships, love and peace it provides your inner being.

Whenever your inner being is feeling insecure, unloved, unfulfilled, or uneasy, you can acknowledge the feeling, knowing that you are a limitless being full of love and creative power. Focus on your strengths. Focus on the solutions to the problems and the best possible outcomes. Focus on the inner being and follow your heart. It will never steer you wrong. Take a deep breath, push through your fears and remind yourself that “All is well. There is nothing to fear. I’ve got this.”

Material Objects as Life Purpose Replacements

May 15, 2015May 15, 2015Leave a comment

Symptoms of detachment from spirit can feel like anxiety, fear, sadness, discontent, failure, and discomfort, among others. This happens when we get sidetracked from our right and perfect path and take a detour through procrastination and other behaviours that don’t serve us. The discontent will simply keep growing until you answer the call to get back on track and serve your life’s purpose.

If you feel a deep longing to do something fulfilling with your life but let your fears talk you out of taking action, you can get stuck for a very long time between the fear of moving forward and the fear of staying the same. Your discomfort is caused by not keeping up with your soul’s lessons.

As you learn in this lifetime, you are constantly outgrowing your old circumstances and gearing up to change, to grow, to learn, and to master each new level you encounter. Your guides and angels leave little clues and synchronistic events along the way to make life fun and exciting, and even extremely hard if you must learn a difficult lesson. It is all for your greatest good.

Though you may not consciously know what you are longing for, taking courageous action toward what feels good each and every day can illuminate the path ahead. One day, when you look back to where your journey began, you will do so in awe of the cascade of fortunate encounters and events that guided you right to where you wanted to be!

If you know what you desire, yet aren’t taking action, the discomfort will only grow until you listen to your authentic self and start making changes in your life. No matter how hard some decisions may initially seem, the pain you will endure from not taking action will eventually become so extreme that you have to change.

The Universe will support you always.

We all have a little voice in our head that cheers us on. This inner voice tells us when something needs to change and when we need to take action. It always has our best interest at heart. We also have a little voice that tells us we are not good enough – this is the voice of fear and anxiety, and the more attention you give it, the stronger it will get. Take your power back from this voice and take action in the direction of your bliss. You are and always have been worthy.

There is a lot of fear entwined with change, but there doesn’t have to be. Fear and anxiety can’t survive the light. They will disappear the second you acknowledge your worthiness and take action toward your dreams. Use them to guide you out of your comfort zone – you really have nothing to lose but your discomfort, and you have a lifetime of happiness to gain!

It all comes down to this:

You can either listen to the unrest and question it, asking yourself what kind of life you must live in order to feed your spirit and live with passion, or you can continue to live in denial and room with anxiety, fear, and discontent. If you choose the latter, you will certainly feel the pain of disconnection and try to remedy the pain by acquiring material objects.

Material Objects as Life Purpose Replacements

Do you have a lot of stuff?
Do you have a need to shop?
Do you feel fulfilled in your life?
Are you constantly fearful and anxious?
How are your relationships?
Do you think about why you are buying something before you complete the purchase?
Do you need to buy something to be happy?
Are you feeling inspired or blocked in your life?
Do you have a lot of energy or is your body tired and stagnant?
What do your closets look like?
Is your house clean?

Are you numbing yourself by acquiring material objects? Do you try to cover up your pain, fear, and anxiety by purchasing items to gain happiness? Until you listen to your spirit and pursue your life’s purpose, the high you get from buying things will come and go hundreds of times until you wake up to the truth that nothing outside of you can make you happy. Happiness has been and will always be an inside job. Listen to your spirit.

Not only will objects not make you happy in the long run, but the more stuff you have, the more energy if takes from you. The more electronics you have, the more responsibility you have in making sure they run properly. The more cars you have, the more insurance you must buy and the more upkeep you must perform or delegate.

The more pets you have, the more you must feed them, walk them, and seek veterinary care. The more clothing you have, the more clothing you must wash/dry/fold/dry clean/repair. The more stuff you have laying around your house, the more stuff you have to dust, and the harder it is to find anything anywhere!

Material accumulation is a symptom of spiritual disconnection – a symptom of not fulfilling your life’s purpose.

When I am feeling stuck and anxious, it is almost always because I have been hanging out with my fears and not pursuing my life’s purpose. The only thing that truly makes me feel better is listening to my inner guidance and taking action on it. For instance, I may be procrastinating by cleaning the house instead of writing. This little voice in my head tells me that I need to write. About a minute after I sit down at my computer and begin to type, all fear and anxiety disappear and I feel completely connected to my spirit and my life’s purpose once again. I know I am following my life’s purpose because it makes me happy.

Maybe you have a habit of numbing out in front of the television, and while you needed to relax the first night, the second night your spirit may pipe up and start making you feel uneasy. Our spirit selves remind us that we didn’t go through the trouble of being born on Earth to sit on a couch night after night after night. If you watch television every night would put money on the table that you feel you were meant for something more, because you are.

There is nothing wrong with watching television sometimes! I know there is nothing better for my spirit some nights than to snuggle up with my husband and watch a good movie, but some nights my spirit would rather read a book, play with watercolours, spend quality time with my significant other or kids, make love, go for a walk, post an inspirational quote on instagram, or sit in the back yard and eat a popsicle!

When you are feeling fearful or anxious it is important that you question the unrest. Ask yourself what your spirit needs to thrive, and listen to the guidance, feelings, and images that come to mind. Spend some time in meditation and quietly reflect.

The next time you want to buy something, ask yourself why. This simple question can make you dig deep and figure out what you are really trying to achieve by acquiring something else.

We recently cleaned out our entire house, from the depths of the closets to the cupboards, drawers, and crawlspaces. We simply asked ourself this one question about everything: Does this give me energy or deplete it? If something didn’t feel good to, it got thrown in the donation pile and left the house a few hours later. Make sure your donation pile doesn’t stick around for months. Take it away immediately and feel the energy in your house soar!

Getting rid of the old creates space for the new without your energy getting lost. There is flow. Life. Beauty. Peace. It opens the door to possibilities you’ve never even considered. Take your power back from the material objects in your life and start visualizing a life of purpose and happiness. How can you serve? How can you bring joy to yourself and others? What do you love to do so much that you would do for free?

Feel the anxiety and fear melt away into excitement as soon as you commit to taking action in the direction of your dreams!

See Only Love

August 13, 2014August 13, 20142 Comments

It seems that the angels are answering all of my prayers lately. My life is streamlining in the exact fashion that I wish it to, and I have a feeling that it’s no accident. That’s what happens when you make the decision to be happy. All you have to do is decide right now that you’re not going to give away your power to anyone else, that you are going to be happy no matter what is going on around you. You are an extremely powerful spiritual being, and you have the power to be happy whenever you choose. You can also choose to stop criticizing, stop comparing, stop expecting the worst, and and you can choose to see only love. If you’re always judging and complaining about things, maybe you’ve trained yourself to focus on the bad things.

I challenge you to retrain yourself. For 24 hours, I challenge you to focus only on the good in all areas of your life. Focus on what you love about your kids, your partner, your job, your parents, etc. How may people do you know who constantly complain about their jobs? Take a moment and just be grateful that you have a job. Many people are struggling to find one. Focus on what you love about yourself. What does your mental chatter sound like? Do you tell yourself how amazing you are, how smart you are, or do you belittle yourself? Send yourself loving thoughts.

See how your partner reacts when you stop criticizing them for not taking out the garbage. Instead, shift your focus. Say “You know, it really means a lot to me when you take out the garbage. Thank you for doing that every week.” Focus on the positive instead of the negative. Why did you marry your partner in the first place? What made you fall in love with them? Relationships improve immediately when you stop focusing on the bad and start focusing on the good. Look past the misunderstandings and mistakes, and see only love. If you catch yourself complaining, judging, comparing, etc. that’s ok! It’s great! It means you are becoming more aware of your negative thoughts! Awareness is what you want. Control your thoughts or they will control you.

Love is light. The opposite of light is dark; the opposite of love is fear. Where there is love there cannot be fear. For some reason, so many of us are living in a fear-based reality, and we don’t see a way out. Well, the way out is love. It all starts with digging deep and finding out what you love about yourself. What makes your spirit happy? What do you simply love to do? What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? Do some of those things right now. Show yourself some love. Loving yourself is the first step out of the fear-based illusion we have created for ourselves.

Realizing that I could instantly create a happy life all by myself was the first step to setting myself free from the fear-based illusion I was living in. I was always striving for perfection, but since perfection doesn’t exist, I was holding myself back. Realizing this, my self-imposed walls broke down, and suddenly I was free. I am the creator of my life. Whatever I want, I can make it happen. With that realization came excitement. I used to be scared to be in charge of my own life, but now, the exact same realization makes me feel so powerful. What changed? I chose love. I chose happiness and excitement over fear. How do you want to feel? Stop focusing on what’s wrong in your life, and start focusing on what’s right. Start focusing on creating the life of your dreams.

Once I started focusing on being happy, I realized that all I have to do to make my dreams come true is work on them a little more each day. How cool is that? No matter where you are today, just imagine where you could be a year from now if you did one thing each day that carried you closer to the realization of your dream. It doesn’t matter how big or small the steps are, it’s the direction that matters. Don’t let fears make you take steps backward. Realize that you are a powerful co-creator of your dreams. Step into your power. Own your dreams. You are worth it.

The Power of Intention

August 10, 2014August 10, 2014Leave a comment

There is something extremely powerful about intention. It’s a goal that is present in the now. The problem with most goals is that they are feats that will occur “someday,” but someday never happens. Don’t wait for someday. Do it now. What I like about setting intentions is that they laser focus your attention so that there can be only one outcome. The intentions I have on the front-burner right now include creating a fitter body than ever before, and the intention to be happy. There is no other option in my mind. I know I will get to my goal physique and I will be happy – most of the time anyway.

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Once you set your mind on something it is as good as done. Simply making the decision to do (or not do) something is a game winner. Once you make a clear decision, the universe has your back. Your angels will go to work behind the scenes, setting up synchronistic events that help to ensure the outcome you desire, so long as it is in the best interest of anyone else involved. Of course you still have to do the work, but setting the intention to get something done sets you up for success.

For instance, I love to run, test my boundaries in a hot yoga class, and push myself with a 24kg kettlebell. I have always loved to work out, but since setting the intention to get the body of my dreams, getting a workout in every day has been incredibly easy. There is always someone who is willing to help me out so that I can get to the gym or that yoga class. I even dropped my 2 month old off at the local coffee shop where the owners looked after him for 2 hours so I could play hockey! Life is full of synchronistic events that want you to succeed. All you have to do is ask for help, and recognize that help when it comes along.

We all have guardian angels who want to help us, but since we have free will, we have to ask for their help. They won’t interfere in our lives without our permission. I ask my angels on a daily basis to help me, and I tell you it works. My inner dialogue in the morning sounds something like this:

“Angels, I ask that you help me to release the pounds that no longer serve me. I love my body. It is an amazing place to live and I am so grateful to have it. I am excited about what I have accomplished this far and I am so excited to see my progress every day. Thank you for helping me to make healthy decisions so that I can have the body of my dreams.”

Our angels communicate with us through our intuition, little gut feelings that make us aware of this and that. They even communicate to us through the intuition of others. It’s why we may look at the clock every day at the exact same time, and why we tend to hear or see the same tidbit of information over and over. It’s said that if something catches your attention 3 times, your angels are screaming to send you a message!

I feel the support of the universe constantly when I am running. I get gut feelings that cheer me on. When I run past people on the sidewalk, they often smile at me, or even better, they say things like “great job!” I wish they knew just how much that encouragement means to me, but on some level I think they do. Often, I get these rushes of encouragement exactly when I need to hear them. It makes me think that it’s all in divine timing; my angels are pulling strings to ensure I succeed.

Since I ask my angels daily for help with my fitness intentions, my intuition is pretty bang on for steering me toward healthy foods and away from complete dietary disaster. I can have one piece of chocolate and not want to eat the entire bar. I can have a monster burger for lunch and have a salad for dinner. I’ve always known that my body craves movement every single day, but I made excuses before and I was unhappy for it. Now I listen to my intuition about fitness and my spirit is happy. I’m in a place of balance for once in my life and it feels pretty amazing.

In fact, I set the intention to write this blog post tonight while I was at the gym earlier today. I decided that I wouldn’t let how tired I might be (my usual excuse) get in the way. And so it is!

Don’t Get Comfortable: Push Yourself

July 20, 2014Leave a comment

What do you do when the going gets tough? Do you push through the mental anguish, or do you give up? How does your choice affect the way you feel? How do you want to feel? How you do anything is how you do everything. If you procrastinate in one area of your life, chances are that you do it in other areas as well.

Last night was night 7 in a string of “4 month sleep regression” nights. I had just gotten our 4 month old, Arlo, to sleep through the night about a week before, and now he sleeps worse than ever. In the past, I would have made excuses and taken a nap at the first opportunity, but I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to create the life of my dreams, and I can’t do that if I’m napping every day! To the gym I went.

I’ve started doing hill run intervals during the past few weeks, and each time I am challenged at the exact same point in my run. And each time I am happy to say, I’ve pushed through it. How? It’s all in your head. Set an intention, and you’re 99% there. Your goal is as good as realized if you have a big enough WHY, and the intention to carry it through. It’s how I got through 3 natural births. I just set the intention to do it, and although it wasn’t easy, I knew that setting the intention meant that I would come out on the other side in just a matter of time.

How can you push yourself to run faster and longer? It starts with the intention. Ok, done. But how do you execute that intention? One step at a time. When I was enduring natural back labour, I took it one second at a time. One breathe at a time. Looking into the future or back at the past does you no good in the “right now.” There’s no sense worrying about having to run for another minute to finish an interval when you are working in seconds.

It also helps to have a workout plan. If you’re flying by the seat of your pants then you’re planning to fail. My go-to workout at the moment is Treadmill Trainer Volume 1. Every time I use this workout, there is a point where I seriously think about giving up, and every time Yuri comes on and says “Do not give up. You’ve committed to this interval so let’s finish it!” And every time it gives me that extra mental push I needed. Do you think I could run uphill intervals for an hour by myself. Heck no. It helps to have a guide.

Whether my interval lasts 45 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes, I take it one second at a time. In order to quiet the mental chatter, I count to 10. Over an over. My mental chatter sounds like this: “1, (breathe out) 2, (breathe in) 3, (breathe out) 4, (breathe in)…10 (breathe in) ONE!” That last ONE meaning I have finished one set of 10. And I just keep on counting until my interval is over, at which point I congratulate the crap out of myself for making it through, mostly in my head, until the end of my workout. Then there is one massive outward celebration that usually includes dancing and people staring at me :). I texted the hubby this photo today because I was so proud and wanted to share my moment with him:

You have to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may be, because doing so adds gratitude, excitement, and happiness to your life and invigorates your Spirit. Happiness is vital for the momentum to keep going. If you hate working out, you’re not going to get very far with your goals. Find enjoyment in the process!

Don’t get comfortable. Break through your ceilings, again and again. Push yourself to get to that next level. Don’t leave the gym thinking that you could have gone harder. Put in the work and celebrate your successes as they come! Be grateful for your ability to push yourself and be grateful for the benefits as you notice them. For instance, you may notice that it’s easier to get up off the couch, you can lift your kids easier, it’s easier to breathe, you can breathe deeper, you’re happier, the people around you can feel it, and they’re happier because of the energy you’re bringing home.

Connecting to your Spirit

May 12, 2014May 15, 2014Leave a comment

bluesky I camped out in the car this morning since Arlo fell asleep during the 2 minute drive home, and read about how to dig deep and follow my intuition. The exercise ended with time to sit still and quiet the mind, and just relax for a moment or two to connect with your breath – your direct line to Spirit. This is something I rarely get to do during daylight hours and the results this morning were amazing.

If Arlo hadn’t fallen asleep I would have rushed inside with a fussy baby and been greeted at the door by my dear friend Laundry. Instead, I was given the gift of a quiet and peaceful moment to myself where I focused on feeling the light within my heart.

The birds were chirping, and the sun was warm on my face. Before I knew it I was deep in meditation. I was present. My heart was ablaze and my vibration was strong. It was bliss. And then I fell asleep, my head nearly fell off, and my body jerked back into reality – but the bliss remained. When we take a few moments to breathe and connect to our Spirit, our vibration raises. We’re happier.

People are in such a rush these days that they are truly missing the beauty in life. In themselves. There are golden moments to be had if you just simply slow down for a few minutes a day. Close your eyes, feel the sunlight on your face, and breathe deeply. When people have a few minutes to spare, they can usually be found clutching their iphone. So put the phone away, and experience what it is to be in the moment.

A few weekends ago we were walking along the Humber River when we crossed paths with a woman reading a book while walking. “At least it’s not a phone?” I thought to myself. She then moved the book aside and revealed a smartphone in her other hand! I didn’t know whether to be appalled at her lack of presence, or impressed. I sent her love.

Take a second to admire just how beautiful our planet really is. Look around. Slow down. Breathe and connect to your Spirit – the real you.