How Do I Enjoy My Own Positivity Without Getting Weighed Down By My Parter’s Negativity?

You actually started answering your own question within the rest of your question! Appreciation will get you a long way with respect to this issue. Appreciate the good father that he is. Appreciate the great man he is and the wonderful things he does. When he is stressing and worrying, gently point out the other side of the coin, yet know when it’s time to understand and not explain anything at all. A lot of couples get caught up in thoughts about what they don’t like about their spouses, and nothing good will ever come of that. You’ve got to appreciate what you love about them and find some lighthearted joy along the way, tending to your own vibration as need be. Daydream about what your perfect relationship looks like and ignore the rest.

It is ok to let yourself be happy while someone right next to you is freaking out. A lot of the time we dim our light because we think it will make someone else feel better, but all it does is make us feel terrible and doesn’t help the situation at all anyway. When someone close to you is disconnected from who they really are, stop paying attention to their current behaviour. Instead, go inward and make the connection to your inner being. Feel what your inner being is feeling and follow the guidance you receive. You will either know what to say or know what to do in that moment. Just follow your intuition whether it makes sense to you or not!

You probably have learned to do this already with your kids! You ignore their tantrums and hold the space for them to return to the angelic beings you know they really are. Do the same thing with your husband. If you let him go on and on complaining about something, you’re enabling this behaviour and it will continue. When you find the connection to your inner being, you are connected to the Source of your guidance. If you need a moment to yourself, take it. At least you can explain the reason you are pulling away; you can have an intelligent conversation with your partner that you are usually unable to have with your kids!

My partner and I agree to call each other out on our bullshit.  It doesn’t mean it’s always well received, but we agree to it and we learn from it.  You can also energetically move the energy around any issue by thinking better feeling thoughts with regard to them such as “I love when my partner tells me about the good parts of his day. I love hearing about all of the things that excite him. I love knowing that no matter how bad his day is, he brings the best of himself home to his family. I love how he can make me laugh, etc.” In time you will get better and better with regard to controlling your thoughts.

If you can control your thoughts with respect to your partner for even the smallest amount of time, you will see change. Do your best to tailor your thoughts to something that is already true for you or else it’s not going to help you because you will know deep down it is a lie. Fake it until you make it just doesn’t work for me. Being true to my heart always does.

Use Distance as a Tool

Put some distance between you and him whenever you feel the need. Your intuition will let you know because you’ll have this nagging pit in your stomach that tells you to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. Listen to this feeling and let yourself go!

Meditate, take a shower or bath, or go for a run. Listen to your favourite song really, really loud and dance around the kitchen with headphones on. I can’t tell you how many times going for a run has saved my sanity. Run/walk, whatever. Get some fresh air and clear your mind. It’s as easy as saying “Honey, do you mind if I go for a run?” Done. Answers come to me so easily while I am running. I will know what to say to my partner about a certain issue, or I will know how to deal with a certain issue with my kids, or I’ll get the idea to do something I’d never even considered before which solves a problem I didn’t know I even had. It’s incredible what guidance comes when you make t a priority to listen!

Lead By Example.

In time, your partner will see how calm you are and may start doing the same. He would benefit from a hobby he loves that feeds his spirit. I use the example of running because it’s what I love to do to clear my mind. If he can find something that clears his mind, it will do him (and you) a world of good. Because, if you aren’t doing something to bring yourself into alignment with who you really are, you’re grasping at straws and won’t have anything to give anyone else anyway. When you’re not in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety easily take hold. When you’re in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety don’t even exist. Love always prevails in the state of alignment.

There is no need to think about your problems when you run/exercise. Just clear your head and listen for your guidance. Your guides know more about you than you do. They also know the shortcut to everything you have ever asked for. I’m not entirely sure we need to think about anything ever again. Just ask to find solutions and listen for the answers to come. Expect them to come.

When you wake up in the morning, before you mentally jump into your to-do list, just lay there and listen for the answers to come. If you are working on your receptivity to your guidance, the fuzzy area between the awake and sleep states is a great time to allow this clarity to wash over you.

Perception is Tricky

We often create problems in our own minds that have no basis in reality. Communication is the key. Have a problem in your relationship? Talk about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. If it’s dragging you down, it’s worth getting it out in the open. When issues have roots, you’ve got to address them. Just find your alignment and then raise the issue with your partner when you are in a good feeling place about it.

I know a lot of spiritual teachers will tell you to stop looking at a problem and focus on the solution, which is valid for sure, but sometimes you just can’t get your mind off something and not talking about it ends up hurting the relationship. I have had much quicker success in my own life by addressing my issues with honesty and the knowing I have in my heart. It has made my parter and I closer than I ever thought possible.

Go with your own personal guidance in this area. No matter what anyone says, its always best to go with your intuition. What’s best for me may not me best for you. Some issues I can ignore and they work themselves out, while others just keep coming back around. If they keep coming back, it may be time to talk about them.

Permission to Thrive

You need to give yourself permission to thrive no matter what. If it means your partner stays where he is and you outgrow him, so be it. You have to follow your truth and you can’t expect everyone to come with you. I don’t think we are meant to have the same partner for life. I think the right partners come in at the right time. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have the same partner for life, but it means that you have to accept that you will have periods of exponential growth that occur at different times. A friend told me that the trick to staying together long-term is “we never fell out of love with each other at the same time.”

Connect to your inner being. Follow your heart. Speak your truth. Take care of yourself. Know that everything is always working out for you. And look for the evidence of it all day, every day.

xo Amy

 

Q&A: How Do I Stop Feeling Like I Can Never Catch Up?

Busyness is an epidemic in our society. Everyone is so busy doing that they’re missing the point of being in the moment. The key to taking control of your crazy life, just like anything else, lies in your heart.

Wherever you are, you can get to where you want to be. It helps if you have a specific goal in mind but it’s not necessary. Simply knowing what you want to feel is good enough. For instance, you may know that you want to be a painter, so you paint when you feel the inspiration. If you don’t have “time” – make time. Schedule it in. If you don’t know what is it you are looking for, you can appreciate the feeling of how you want to feel. For instance, you can feel what it wold feel like to have unlimited time, ease, love, connection, and excitement.

All of this is going to come together via the Law of Attraction. Like attracts like. The vibration you put out is the one you receive. Things are always in a state of change. Nothing ever stays the same. But, you may not notice the change because things are changing to more of the same and more of the same and more of the same.

“Work is hard.” “I hate my job” “I never have enough time” etc. are thoughts that are going to change to more and more of the same. If you can practice feeling appreciation and joy in your daily experience, it will raise your vibration enough so that as time passes, you will see palpable change. Happier people will enter into your experience. There will be more laughing and more spontaneity. In general, you will feel more excitement in your life.

Over time, you will begin to notice how your thoughts create your reality. And in greater time, you will see just how powerful of a co-creator you really are. Eventually you will come to know that you can be, do, or have anything you desire because your life experience will show you time and time again that you get what you think about whether you want it or not.

The easiest way to get the momentum rolling in the right direction is to take time every single morning to make sure you get out of bed with the right mindset. If you wake up with a  debilitating thought, take the time to think of a better feeling thought on that subject, or choose another subject all together. I recommend leaving your thoughts on any subject in a better feeling place because it is incredibly empowering to know that you are in charge of your thoughts and that they are not in charge of you. Plus, it feels better!

Tips for improving your current job:

  1. Set the intention when you go to bed to wake up in a good mood, full of energy and enthusiasm for your job in the morning. Intention is everything. Most people pre-pave their days full of dislike for their jobs. This is your chance to choose your own adventure the day before.
  2. If you wake up in dread with the thought of going to work, wake up 45 minutes earlier and go for a quick run. Movement of the body is important to move energy, so if you can swing it, get yourself moving!
  3. If working out sounds impossible, (I can literally hear you groaning) choose any thought about your job that you really like. Appreciate how good that thought feels and appreciate the people who make your job fun.
  4. Meditate. Set your alarm for 15-20 minutes and sit with the intention to simply be. Breathe deeply and feel for the love that is omnipresent. Focus on your heart chakra and let in the love.
  5. Appreciate all day long. Especially when you notice negative thoughts. Even people you have always perceived as completely awful will change right before your eyes if you only see the good in them and find things to appreciate. And when a compliment for someone pops into your head, share it! You are an uplifter at heart!

And last but not least, take time for yourself. Put yourself first. It’s not selfish to do what you want to do. It’s IMPERATIVE to being happy. Take care of yourself and do what makes you happy. If you don’t do this, you won’t have any energy to give anyone else anyway. This means saying NO to a lot of thing you are currently saying YES to and regretting. If it’s not a HELL YES it’s a HELL NO. Remember this one thing alone and I guarantee you will catch up and feel an immediate increase of joy in your daily life!

The happier you are, the more tapped into your spirit you will be, and the easier it will be for you to hear the inspiring thoughts your spirit is constantly sharing with you. This is why meditation is so important. It is an open invitation to spirit. When you quiet your mind, you are better able to hear your guidance. Spiritual guidance is not reserved for psychics and mediums. If you are a human on Earth, you have spiritual guidance because the “spirit you” thought the “physical you” into being. And that same energy that created you is flowing through you now, creating with your thoughts and your overall vibration. The frequency you emit is what the law of attraction responds to in each and every waking moment.

Pay attention to that little voice in your head. Most thoughts that feel really, really good to you are actually guidance from spirit. Spirit knows exactly what you want and how to get it to you in the easiest of ways, but often we ignore these amazing thoughts and counter them with thoughts like “I can’t do that”. Yes, you can. If you received and inspiring thought, you can do it. Think about it some more and get really excited about it. You can be, do, or have anything you desire. All you have to do is align with your spirit on a daily basis and let it all in. You don’t even need to think anymore. You just have to be happy and let the law of attraction and spirit show you the way!

You Can Never Go Back.

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It’s been 5 months to the day since my last blog post. It’s not for lack of desire. My desire to write has never been greater these past months. It’s not a lack of time either, because time is infinite. I have nothing but time. But the Divinity of it has finally come around I think.

Life is changing. It can never be the same. We are always in a state of learning. And once you learn something, it’s impossible to unlearn.

Over these past months, I have been focused on listening to my spirit; those feelings deep within that cannot be denied. But something really surprises me: So many of us deny our gut feelings. Sometimes I still do. Why is this? I think it’s because we’re trained as kids to make others happy.

I see it every day with my kids. They want to do XYZ, and I want them to do ABC. I’m learning how to navigate life with 3 little boys who have 3 strong spirits, and it gets messy. But I don’t want them to EVER grow out of following their bliss, for me or anyone else. But I do want them to be kind while they listen to their Hell Yes’…we’re working on it…

What are gut feelings? I’ve come to understand them as messages from Spirit, and the more you deny them, the worse you’re going to feel. When something feels wrong, it is. When something feels right, it is. Your emotions are guidance from Spirit. When someone asks you to do something for them and you don’t have that “Hell Yes!” visceral response, say NO.

Don’t be a people pleaser. Don’t sacrifice your feelings and needs to make someone else happy. The thing is, you can never make anyone happy. It’s not your job. It’s theirs. And if they don’t like it, that’s their problem too.

We’ve gotten really good at denying spirit in our society. We know what we should do and we don’t do it. We know what we need to say and we don’t say it. We know that we need to be true to ourselves and we don’t BE it. We deny our true selves so often that we’ve become incredibly unhappy.

Do you want to be happy?

The time has come for you to give yourself permission to say what you want to say, do what you want to do, and be what you want to be. Learn to listen to your Spirit, and watch miracles happen. Once you start listening to your Spirit, life will get better and better at an incredible speed. It’s time to start getting really, really excited.

Set yourself up for success.

Every morning when I wake up , I think about how good my day is going to be. I get excited about the possibilities and ask spirit to surprise me. And every day is a good day. Even then, life happens. I may have yelled at my kids for an hour today…maybe even more. It didn’t feel good and I didn’t really care because I know I am fully capable of digging myself out of that rut. On the other side of discomfort is pure delight – because joy is my intention. My spirit was saying no to where I was, so I asked for a way out. Moments later I got the idea to cut the grass. So I cut my grass. Then I cut the neighbour’s grass, and then I raked everything up. I did it in bare feet too so I could connect with the earth and ground myself.

When you are down, you don’t need to live there. Being down is actually really great because you have the contrast to find something that lifts you up! It’s such an amazing feeling to know you have the power to create your reality. It’s so empowering to climb out of that hole and back up the mountain. And if there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that from the top of the mountain, you can see all the bad stuff coming.

Every day in ANY way, my suggestion to you is to find your way up the mountain. Find any way to make yourself happy, and then sit there and bask in it. From your happy place, you can see all the discomfort coming. When you’re in joy and your boss asks you to work on the weekend, it’s going to feel terrible. Say no. From your place of joy, watching Narcos is going to feel terrible. Turn it off. From your place of joy, a friend calling and complaining about her husband is going to feel terrible. Either change the subject or fake your death. ha! Or you could always just excuse yourself politely and hang up 🙂

And that’s not all. From your place on top of the mountain, there will be a lot of things that once bothered you that you won’t even notice anymore. When you are in a good feeling place, only people who are on the same level can see you. People who are not on your level will not even come near you. They’ll basically be out of sight and out of mind somewhere on the ground, and you won’t even be able to interact with them. You’ll be hanging out with other mountaineers.

And when you fall off the mountain, you’ll know it! And so begins the work of getting back on top. It’s the human journey. When you fall off, getting back up is as easy as quieting your mind and listening for spirit. Listen to those gut feelings. Ask what you can do to feel better and listen to what comes. Every time you ask, the answer is given. Every time. <3

The Best Mirror in the World

Our children are our mirrors. They reflect back everything we do and all that we are. There is no escaping it. Habits, phrases, curse words, manners, laziness, energy, indifference, passion, perspective; they absorb it all like little sponges.  Your children will mirror the best of you and they will mirror the worst of you.

A few weeks ago we went for a walk and encountered a woman standing in the street yelling at her husband, who was near their house. I wondered if she had any idea what she was doing. It was a snapshot of their relationship, and while I don’t know the circumstances around this moment, my inner being could feel her pain.

Then she turned it off and said hello to us as nice as anyone has ever said hello. And after we passed, I wondered why we do it. Why are we the nicest version of ourselves in front of strangers, and the worst of ourselves to the ones we are supposed to love the most. We do it because we learned somewhere that it’s what you do.

As adults we can easily turn off our normal behaviour and be pleasant in public. We have the ability to turn off the hurt in our hearts and say hello to a stranger with kindness. But children aren’t yet aware of these social norms. They will not censor for others’ benefit. And that is the most beautiful thing about children. I love that about them. I immediately thought about how she was teaching her children in that moment. They are our mirrors, and being a parent is a golden opportunity for change.

Yes we can’t be loving all the time. We will have moments that we crack and let the darkness in, but as you become more and more aware of the cracks, you can heal them. You can keep the light in and the darkness out.

The first shift in awareness occurs when you shift from sleep into awareness. When you wake up from being the victim of circumstance and realize that you have the power to create your world, you have completed the first of many shifts.

The second shift occurs when you become aware of your actions. You see yourself reacting in ways you did in the past before you woke up, but you can’t seem to stop it. And that’s ok. First, you will be aware of these reactions, and then you will start to change them. Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes the tape will play out just as it would have in the past. It may take you years to feel like you have your reactions under control, and that’s ok too. Life is a sea of contrast. There is always room for improvement.

And just like improving your level of fitness, at some point you will shift from walking and running into running and sprinting. Eventually you will shift from watching yourself do something that you would rather not do, into a place of calmness and non-reaction. This is what I call the shift of detachment. When you can stop the cycle of reacting and place your focus, desire, and action on producing a different outcome, you will have successfully achieved a state of detachment and allowing.

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When I can detach from what my children are doing and keep my sanity about me, and act with love and guidance rather than anger, then I feel I have done the best I can do with my current knowledge.

When I have told them ten times to put on their pyjamas and they’re still running around like little crazy minions, I can get completely unhinged and yell at them.  I am aware while I am doing it that I am in misalignment with the version of myself that I wish to be – not just for my children’s sake, but for my own. As soon as I become aware, I take a step back from my yelling and reassess the situation. I don’t want them to go to bed with anger between us. I want them to feel loved.

So, I set them up for success. This may mean I actively get them dressed and brush their teeth while they continue to play. I don’t mind. Or it may mean getting them into their room and giving them the one on one attention they need to get the task done themselves. Whatever feels right in the moment is the path I take. The path changes daily.

Some nights I completely lose my mind, and that’s ok. I’m not perfect and I never will be. But I can forgive myself and learn from my mistakes and move forward. Self forgiveness is the key to lasting change, so be easy on yourself and keep moving forward.

I talk about my shortcomings with my children. I tell them why mommy acted the way she did, why it’s not okay, and tell them that it is not their fault. I tell them what I want to do differently next time and how they can help me to be the best mommy I can be.

The other day Oscar and Luca were on their scooters and we were crossing a busy street. They assume that because we are moving, it’s okay to cross, meanwhile as adults, we are assessing the situation and slowing down. They know to stop before every road and yet kept going because we were moving forward. We immediately yelled and screamed at them to stop, which is of course was out of love, but comes across as anger to a child.

We explained that we were not angry with them, but that they needed to be careful when crossing the street. In that moment we were acting out of love, but there was no time to lovingly address the situation! This is when it is important to talk with your children and explain what is happening.

I am constantly asking myself how I can act out of love with my children. Asking the question begs our subconscious to come up with an answer. Again, awareness is the light that shines on the darkness. How can I shift from fear and anger into love in this situation?

If you are angry around your children because of any number of reasons, they will internalize it without giving it a second thought. They pick up on the energy we are offering. Even as adults we tend to internalize anger. We may think, “Why are they mad at me?” or “What a bitch!” when 1, we are not the source of their anger and 2, we have no idea what circumstances have led to that behaviour.

And after they internalize this anger, they will radiate it. They will play it back to you. They will throw it in your face and you will know that you created this behaviour. Children are always watching, always mopping up our behaviour when we are least mindful of it.

Whether you are swearing in traffic, yelling at the dogs, stressed out because you’re going to be late for work, or whether your anger runs deep along the lines of resentment or withholding love from yourself, your children are taking it all in and learning that this is how they are to act in the world.

The more you can act out of love, let go of external circumstances and be loving anyway, the more your children with exude these behaviours. The more loving you are the more loving they will be. The more patient you are the more patient they will be. If there is something that is lacking in your children, then you must look within and see how you have been creating this behaviour.

For instance, I have a habit of saying “I hate that!” And of course, Luca is my little mirror and now he “hates” everything.  Now I am in the process of undoing the damage that I so carelessly created. Here’s another example. Our dogs go crazy when someone comes to the door. It’s like our 8 year old dachshund wants to kill them. I’m not kidding. He’s out of control. (Yes we created that behaviour too…) And due to our not being incredibly careful with our words, Oscar now tells the dogs to “Shut the fuck up!” He’s 4. I wonder where he got that? Another habit we need to unravel. I plug away at it every day.

Our kids listen to our actions rather than our words. We speak very clearly when we act. Actions don’t lie. Words do. When you tell a child to do A, but consistently show them that B is your preferred action, they will perform action B because they want to be just like you.

Are you the adult you want your children to be? Ask yourself this question and then change your thoughts and behaviours accordingly. If you want them to eat their vegetables then you have to eat their vegetables. If you want them to be kind, then you must be kind. If you want them to be healthy then you must be healthy. And it all starts with self love, which I have covered in previous blog posts, and which I will write about until the end of time. You must put yourself first if you are going to be able to give your children the best version of you so that you may help them to create the best versions of themselves.

Your children are your greatest chance to improve your behaviour for the better. Sometimes, when we have not yet managed to love ourselves, we will change for our children. If you need to use them as leverage, then use them. If you can’t love yourself for yourself, then love yourself for them. Eventually you will come to realize that it’s one and the same. We are all one.

How To Find True Love

Have you ever realized just how beautifully life flows when you are in love? Being in love is the best feeling in the world. It’s magical. It’s unbelievable. Ridiculous. It’s a feeling that I cannot live without in this sometimes seemingly harsh human world.

When you really think about it, all you ever have is now, so you might as well enjoy it. This is it. How you are feeling at this moment is your magnet. That which is like unto itself is drawn, says Abraham and the Law of Attraction. Our thoughts create our experience. Why not think in love?

Your reality is yours and yours alone. There is no collective reality. We all have complete childhoods and life events that shape who we are. We learn good habits and bad habits and everything in between. It is our history that predisposes our thoughts to our current reality.

Until one day it doesn’t. One day we wake up. We step into our power and we are ready to take responsibility for our thoughts, our actions, and our lives. We get off the hamster wheel and realize just how amazing we are. We realize how amazing the world is. We realize how amazing the Universe is, and that the energy we have within us has the power to create worlds.

We realize that life is really, really great. We open our hearts to anyone and everyone and bleed kindness all around. There is nothing that we won’t tear down within us to recreate ourselves in this new vision of all encompassing love. We realize that we’ve been holding ourselves back all this time. Our unhappiness wasn’t caused by anything but our own fear. And all in one defining moment we realize that we can burst straight through fear’s door, broken hearted and all, fully capable and ready to align with that which we truly are: the magnificent being that God created us to be.

2015-08-22 18.37.57And looking back, it really is funny. We had the power within us the entire time, and we just didn’t know it. And life on the other side of heartbreak is beautiful. It’s inspiring. It’s more than you can even imagine. When you find your true love has been within you, it is you, you realize that you can never be alone again.

True love is yours the moment you step into your power. And you don’t even need to be heartbroken. You just have to entertain the idea that you are worthy. You are loved. And everything is always, always working out for you.

Today, love is my invisibility cloak. I try to wear it everywhere. When I wrap myself in love, nothing can touch me. I am unavailable for disaster to strike. I’m flying. I’m more accessible than I’ve ever been yet I am unreachable by many things that once crushed me. I take nothing personally anymore, and happiness finds me everywhere I go.

Today life brought me unexpectedly face to face with another I dearly love. In the same place at the same time, I walked into a coffee shop and heard my name. I looked up and saw my brother. Neither of us had a clue what the other was doing, but the Universe saw it fitting to bring two happy people together. Events like this are life’s true gift. The present moment is a gift all on its own, but this was the icing on the cake.

I’m Not Perfect

You may read my blog and think I have it all together, but I assure you that I am a work in progress just like everyone else! This also reminds me to point out that there is no one out there who is perfect, so don’t be tempted to put anyone on a pedestal. It may not seem like it, but we’re on level playing ground with everyone else on Earth. We’re all on the journey of joyous expansion, and we all have good, really good, bad, and really bad moments! Without this contrast we would become complacent; we would lose our drive if things were good all the time. Don’t worry if you’ve had a particularly bad past, because you can use it as leverage to propel yourself into the future you desire. The past does not predict the future.

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I set a daily intention to see through the eyes of Source, to see the love in all people and the lessons I need to learn. I ask that my will be God’s will and that I be guided to be loving in all situations. Most days are amazing, while some days I seem to get stuck. Yesterday was particularly challenging. I decided to go down memory lane and got stuck there, stuck in a place where I couldn’t see the love in a person. I knew that nothing good could come from it, but I did it anyway. But something good did come of it. I saw the contrast between my denial state and my awakened state once again, and once again I was grateful for the awakening. The vision I have for my future wouldn’t be the same without my past.

I let go of the past and set myself free. Again. For the last time. Again. I doubt it really was the last time, but each time I am able to come out of it faster and with gratitude. What I find really interesting is this last dance with the past occurred on a full moon during mercury retrograde, which explains a lot!  I had an energy appointment the next day, and apparently I wasn’t the only one having issues, as they had THREE emergency phone calls that day from people having personal crises!

When I find myself in a funk and not being my usual chipper self, I first focus on grounding myself, which for me usually looks like a walk or run in the forest, and as I walk or run I focus on all of the really great lessons I have learned. This time it went something like this:

  1. I am strong, loving, courageous, and worthy of my dreams.
  2. I reclaimed my power and set boundaries for how I expect to be treated.
  3. True love comes from my own heart connection, which I can feel whenever I wish. Yay!
  4. I found a connection to spirit, my inner being, and Source.
  5. Things happen for me and not to me.
  6. I have the power to be, do, and have everything I can imagine for myself.
  7. I love to write. I must write. It feeds my spirit.
  8. I must exercise daily, it grounds me and makes me feel safe and secure.
  9. I found my life’s mission: to help others take their power back.
  10. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the challenges I’ve encountered.
  11. All is well, and it always will be!

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I want you to know that you have the power to overcome great adversity. If you don’t willingly change what you know you must, the Universe will conspire to change things for you. Whatever happens, stay conscious, strong, confident and listen to your heart; follow your inner guidance. The more you listen to your inner guidance and do what makes you happy, the more you will raise your self-esteem and the more confident you will become.

Know you are worthy of great things, and listen to that voice in your head that pushes you to change the status quo. Stay calm throughout the storm so that you can better see the lessons. Take your power back from outside forces and stand up for your beliefs. Know that everything is working out in the best interest of everyone involved. Nothing can go wrong when you follow your heart. You’ll either encounter pain now, when you make the tough decisions you have to make, or pain later, when you are holding yourself prisoner in an unhappy life.

What feels like a horrible situation can actually be your greatest blessing. You won’t find the blessings if you are concentrating on the despair. If you are asking “Why did this happen?” you are never going to find the answer. Something that wasn’t working in your highest interest had to come to an end, and the sooner you can find the lessons, the easier it will be for you to accept it and move forward with your life.

Most likely, like me, it doesn’t mean that you won’t return to those dark feelings occasionally, but it is your choice to visit them, and it is also your choice to let those feelings go. Letting go means that you choose not to live there. You choose to use past hurts merely as a contrasting feeling to the joy that you seek. I choose to feel good because it feels good! Is there any other way to live your life? I don’t think so!

Whenever the darkness creeps in, turn on the light. Go to the best feeling thoughts and visualizations that you can come up with. Think about all the things you are grateful for and the lessons you’ve learned from your struggles. Where are you now that you wouldn’t be if you hadn’t struggled? What amazing new life has come out of the ashes? What would be the best thing that could ever happen in your life? The light always beats the dark.

How to Intuitively Stop Procrastination

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Are you steadily moving toward your goals, or do you find yourself stuck, avoiding further forward motion like the plague? Even though all of the pieces may be in place, self-sabotage can prevent us from taking that final step toward realizing our dreams.

Writing down your goals can really help zero in on what is important to you, and it really is the first action step you must take. The simple act of writing creates new neural pathways in your brain by getting your body involved in making your thoughts become tangible reality. It’s the first step to commitment.

Thinking about what you want to create in your life is a good starting point, and visualizing the end products of your intention and hard work is terrific – I encourage you to do it daily. However, writing the visualizations down prompts you to connect your intuition with your intention and brings your emotions and necessary actions to light. Writing leaves evidence that visualization does not. Writing is physical, emotional, and mental therapy wrapped up into one.

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Writing to Stop Procrastination:

Start with a fresh notebook. Any will do, but you may want to treat your inner self to a beautiful notebook in your favourite colour. Use one that inspires you.

The purpose of this exercise is to open your eyes to your own excellence. You have everything you need within you right now to create anything you desire to be, do, create, or have! Start by acknowledging the power within.

Write down everything you love about yourself. Focus on anything and everything that is going well in your life. Compliment yourself. Smile. Be proud of all that you are and all that you have done. Realize your awesomeness.

When you have finished writing, start listing the things that you want to do, be, create, and have. Get specific and don’t hold back. You don’t have to know how you want to create these things. A burning desire to create these things is good enough. Write down how it feels to reach these goals. What experiences will you have when you realize these feats? How will your relationships blossom? How will you be doing financially, spiritually, emotionally, and physically?

This journal is dedicated to taking your power back. It focuses on love, strengths, solutions, and optimal outcomes. But in order to keep the focus on these wonderful things, it is necessary to visit the alternative for a moment and create some leverage over that part of us that relishes in the immediate gratification of procrastination.

Next, write about what will happen if you keep up this current level of procrastination. What will happen if you keep wasting your time and none of these dreams come true? How will you feel? What will your relationships be like? What will happen to you financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually if you don’t follow the dreams you have written about?

What are the stories you tell yourself that keep you small? What is holding you back? What are your excuses? What will happen if you keep making these excuses? Staying small isn’t doing you any favours. It imprisons your inner being. It’s time to change your limiting thoughts and behaviours. Set your inner being free and see the magic happen!

I’ll bet you have had enough right now and that you’re ready to continue in the direction of your dreams! Start brainstorming about the next logical steps you can take toward making your dreams a reality. Rewrite your excuses into empowering action steps. Change your negative stories of lack into positive stories of abundance.

What must you do to keep moving forward? Do you need to network more? Put down your phone and play with your children? Give your lover a hug and tell them you love them? Be more active on social media to get your name out there? Be less active on social media and focus on your work or family? Go to the gym? Eat healthier?

Write down everything you can think of. You may have thought about taking these actions before, but seeing them on paper brings them into your awareness. In order to breathe life into your dreams, something that was once a should/could has become a MUST.

You know you’re on the right path when you are really excited about what you are creating. It doesn’t mean that there will be no fear. There will be fear any time you step out of your comfort zone and into the unknown, but the more authentic you are with yourself and the more you feed your inner spirit, the more your excitement will drown out the cries of your fears. New possibilities will enter your experience due to this change in energy!

Keep the focus on your goals. Any time your fears start to creep in and say “Yeah, but…” stop them right there in their tracks and focus on any good feeling thought you can grasp in the direction of your dreams. Change the way you talk about yourself and you will change. Think in terms of having already achieved your goal, that coveted position at work, getting a few new clients, or becoming that artist you’ve always wanted to be.

Act as if your dreams are a reality. Walk the walk. Talk the talk. It doesn’t help your cause when you are pining away at your dream from a scarcity viewpoint. Own every single aspect of your dream that you can right now. If you are an aspiring artist, don’t tell your friends that you hope to be an artist some day, tell them “I am an artist!” If you want to be the creative director of your office, tell your friends “I am a creative director!” Don’t stop with your friends – tell anyone who will listen to you! Be the person you want to be, and do what the person you want to be would do. There is no need to wait when you can start right now!

Take these action steps into your visualizations and see yourself executing them.  See yourself in the role you wish to play. Feel your inner being light up as you finally step into your power – as you step into your authentic self. Feel the excitement as it rises up from your heart and into your entire being. Feel how whole and complete you feel in this moment. Feel the inspiration and the knowingness that you can do this. You are doing this. This is the real you. Now take action!

Is Your Inner Child Running Your Life?

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Whether we realize it or not, we carry a lot of baggage from the past. The abandonment we felt as children when our parents wouldn’t play with us, the betrayal we felt when our best friend chose to sleep over at someone else’s house instead of ours, and the sadness we felt when our beloved pet suddenly died – all reside deep within our subconscious mind.

Our inner child learns that we need to perform spectacularly if we want more attention. We become perfectionists. We learn that negative attention is better than no attention at all. We lash out in anger. We internalize the external, (I guess I’m not good enough to have Daddy’s attention), take things far too personally, and begin to talk badly to ourselves.

That inner child stays with us, yearning for the love, connection, and safety that eluded it over the years. When we lash out in anger at the smallest of details, it is a red flag that we have neglected our inner being for far too long. When we berate others for their shortcomings it is simply because we can’t stand to look at our own. We deflect. It’s much easier to point out what others are doing wrong than own up to our own failures. The funny thing is, others mirror our faults back to us. Whatever bothers us about someone is something that we need to work on!

Our actions are a direct representation of the way we feel about ourselves. The way we hold ourselves in public reflects the emotional terrain of our inner world. When we feel poorly about ourselves we tend to lash out at anyone near us – especially the ones we love. They have a front row seat to our baggage show. Our flipping out has nothing to do with the empty toilet paper roll, and everything to do with our need for love, connection, and fulfillment. 

Denial of our problems is not a long term solution. Problems get bigger the longer we let them fester, not smaller. The fastest, easiest, and least painless way to deal with our inner unrest is to simply listen to it and begin to take care of the inner child that is begging to be heard, that inner being – the real you – that needs love and attention.  Your inner being doesn’t need love and attention from just anyone, it needs it from YOU.

Now that you’re an adult, it is your responsibility to meet your inner being’s deepest emotional needs. If you don’t take responsibility for fulfilling these needs, the unrest will only worsen until there is a complete blowout (divorce, mid-life crisis, job termination, etc.) and you have no choice but to comply.

You are the only one who can give you what you need. When you take your power back from others and realize that you are fully capable of nurturing your inner being, your whole life will change. As you start to listen to your inner being you will build awareness around what it needs to feel happy, safe, and fulfilled. Take some time to reflect on where you are and where you want to be, and when you are the most you – what makes you really light up? Get silent sit in meditation, and let the answers come.

As you begin to act on this new awareness and the information it provides, you will feel whole, complete, safe, secure, and loved all on your own. You won’t feel the need to lash out at others because you will be following your heart, giving your inner being the love and attention it so desires. You won’t need to point out what everyone else is doing wrong because you won’t even notice it. In time, rather than focusing on everything that is going wrong, you will be excited about everything that is going right!

When you provide your inner being with unconditional love, you create a space within you to freely love others, flaws and all.  When you love yourself, you don’t need to take power from others, for you will have all of the power you need already within.  As you sit in the seat of awareness, always listening to your inner being, you are able to thwart or deal with perceived attacks on your inner being as they arise. Though the inner work never ends, neither do the soul-fulfilling payoffs, authentically beautiful relationships, love and peace it provides your inner being.

Whenever your inner being is feeling insecure, unloved, unfulfilled, or uneasy, you can acknowledge the feeling, knowing that you are a limitless being full of love and creative power. Focus on your strengths. Focus on the solutions to the problems and the best possible outcomes.  Focus on the inner being and follow your heart.  It will never steer you wrong. Take a deep breath, push through your fears and remind yourself that “All is well. There is nothing to fear. I’ve got this.”

Love First, Then Act

I’m not entirely sure how it came about, but I have within me a compassion for all beings that I have never felt before. I believe it’s been building in me ever since I made the conscious decision to take responsibility for my own happiness. These days my experience is more like a movie in some ways, especially when I see others suffering as I once did, caught in the reactive cycle of life and taking things way too seriously. Life can quite literally be all work and no play when you are engulfed in negativity. Even playing with my kids turned into me yelling constantly when I was acting from fear, disconnection, and unhappiness.

image1Of course, having been overweight during part of my life, I feel the pain of those who have a lot of literal weight to bare, and know that deep down they are struggling, even though they may show outward joy. On the inside, their spirits are starving to make a loving connection with their human selves, but they don’t know it.

When we withhold love from ourselves, we are completely disconnected from our inner being. Our inner beings have nothing but love for us, so when we act from a place of self destruction, self loathing, or self hatred, we are acting out in complete opposite of how our inner being sees us. This is why it feels so incredibly bad. We are out of alignment with Source energy and our true being, which has nothing but love for us.

Give love to yourself.

No matter where you are in your journey, love yourself first. Get centered by aligning with your inner being, and then, and only then, act. Center yourself through meditation, deep breathing, exercise, or doing something that makes you really happy.  Stop reacting to the world around you and travel within.  Check in with yourself often, and see what you feel about how your life is going.  What feels good?  What is draining your energy?  What does your spirit crave that you’ve been denying?

Unconditional love.

No matter what we have done or haven’t done, our higher selves love us unconditionally. This is true for all beings, even those that society labels as outcasts and criminals. If we were all connected to our inner being, there would be no crime to speak of. Individuals creating crimes are not acting from a place of interconnectedness or alignment. They are caught up in fear, and acting from a place of disconnection and misalignment.   If only they knew how loved and supported they are!

I had a daydream today about what would happen if all of humankind came into their power at the same moment in time.  I am thankful that I know I am the creator of my reality and it is because of this knowledge that I act out of love for others and love for myself.  I am planting the seeds that create more love in my existence. It is my wish that everyone know this deeply one day.

See only love.

If you are ready to take responsibility for your happiness then I encourage you to try to find a piece of yourself in everyone you cross paths with each and every day. Withhold judgment and know that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge that they have. Be the light in the room instead of adding to the darkness. Show compassion. Smile. Say please and thank you. Hold a door longer that you would like, and find the similarities between you and another. We are quick to make judgments of people without even talking to them. Get to know someone, if even for a few minutes. You never know what a little love and attention can do for someone.

If judgments and criticism arise from your ego, just be aware of the thoughts and let them pass by. Choose a better feeling thought and move on with your day. If you feel the need to vocalize your judgment to a friend who may be nearby, notice this too. Stay silent, and notice your ego’s response. When you practice this enough, the ego will soften and you will no longer feel the need to vocalize judgment because the judgments will no longer arise in you in the first place! Eventually you will have only love for others. And you will have compassion for their trials and tribulations.

Love yourself first.  Spread the love, and you will change lives.