How to Manifest the Ideal Relationship – Between You and You

We live in a time that is so fast-paced, we practically have to run to keep up.  And there are times throughout the day when I do run to keep up!  This morning I dropped my three kids off at three different destinations, which meant that later on I had to pick up three kids at three different destinations!  I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like when they start playing organized sports, which will probably be right around the corner at the pace time is flying these days.

Just thinking about how stressed out our society has become makes me think back to taking Toronto transit.  If you want to see insanity, just try to take public transit during rush hour.  People literally run from trains to buses at the end of the work day.  It’s like watching a herd of humans in the wild – wait, that’s exactly what it is! They’re in a rush to get to work, in a rush to get through the work day, and in a rush to go home. When do they slow down?  So what if you miss the train?  Sit on a bench and just be present. I’m fairly certain herd behaviour isn’t there yet…

I never really understood it.

I’ve spent my entire life as a watcher, not knowing exactly where I fit into this insanity.  I was always too aware of myself to really fit in and not aware enough to know who I really was.  It wasn’t until I started connecting with spirit that I finally understood who I was; who I am.  And do you know what made that possible?  I sat on the bench.

I slowed down.  I took time to get to know myself.  I meditated, I wrote, and I simply existed as much in the present moment as my expansion allowed.  I started questioning my actions, my reactions, my thoughts and my beliefs.  I picked apart the answers to those questions and asked myself what I wanted instead.  It wasn’t pretty, but the result is pretty ridiculously amazing.  Now, instead of feeling like an Earthly outcast, I finally feel like I have built a home inside this body of mine.

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One of the greatest lessons I have learned is to give myself permission to be self-ish. No, not narcissistic toddler selfish, just a little self-ish.  I created the time I needed to be myself amongst the chaos.  My modus operandus had been a highly stressed out state, and I had lived in that state for so long that I didn’t even recognize it as a stressed out state.  You don’t know what you don’t know, right?  So, if you’re not being self-ish now, I’m giving you permission to start.  The next step?  Meet me halfway, and give yourself permission as well.

Once I started scheduling regular time for myself; a long bath, a meditation, a walk in the forest, a trip to the gym, a workout at home while the kids crawled all over me, or even getting up at 5 am to write, my stress level came down and my happiness meter went way up.  Once I started having a relationship with myself again, using my emotions as built-in guidance, I started to realize all the little things that made me tick.  I started giving myself permission to let loose and have fun, something I had forgotten to do years before.  I started clearly seeing the cause and effect of my thoughts and behaviours.  I became my own science experiment.  And the experiment is still going strong.

All relationships you have will be intimately affected by the relationship you have with yourself.  So you may as well have a good one!  And the best pathway I know how to manifest a healthy connection between you and you is through your emotions.

Any time you are feeling stressed out or down, and don’t seem to know the source of your troubles, or, are simply in denial that a problem exists, draw your attention to your emotions. Also known as “gut feelings,” your emotions are a continuous feedback loop, letting you know in real time when you’re on-course for joy, or horribly off the mark.

Start paying attention.  Though it will be hard at first, the more you can be present with your emotions, the faster you will learn the Universal truth that you, and you alone are responsible for your happiness.  The more you use your emotions as guidance, the more often you’ll be able to take charge – forming the beliefs and performing the actions that bring you the most joy.

It’s time to give yourself permission to slow down.  Take some time to get to know that one person you have been neglecting lately, and start asking what it is they need, because only you can give it to them.



Be Proud of Yourself

image1 (1)I can’t even begin to count the amount of times I have been down on myself over my lifetime. It’s got to be in the 100s of thousands by this point.  This is why I am on this mission today.  It’s not okay for someone to treat anyone the way I treated myself in the past.  Today, I live moment to moment, filtering and changing my thoughts as I must in order to follow the most loving path I can.

It’s not what happens in life but how you react that determines the result.

I’m not perfect.  I still get down on myself.  But the way I respond to my mind chatter these days is much, much different.  In the past I would dig a hole and camp out with my failures.  I still don’t understand why anyone would choose that as an option, but it felt safe at the time I suppose.  Nowadays, whenever I watch a thought go by that isn’t in line with my true self, I think, “that was a crazy thought,” and let it pass by.  I don’t live there anymore.  Sometimes our minds come up with some crazy, crazy stuff, am I right?

Know that those thoughts are not you.  

You are the seer of the thoughts.  You do not have to own them.  Watch them go by and release them just as fast as they came.  After 90 seconds of ruminating on a thought, we own it.  So it’s important to filter your thoughts and move on. Take the long range view and realize that these momentary thoughts cannot harm you.  It’s the rumination of these thoughts that have the potential to hold you back and in the long run they will destroy you.  If you choose that pathway and give power to negative thoughts, you will be paralyzed in fear.

But momentary setbacks are just momentary. Momentary limiting thoughts are ok. Don’t silently accept them as truth.  Throw out the limiting thoughts and find the thoughts that will lead to future success.  Successful people fail more.  They don’t live with their failures, they focus on how they can improve them.

When you find the good in all situations, you can use intelligent action to get out of your momentary falls.  Falling isn’t failing.  You only fail if you don’t get back up.  So take each moment as it comes and get back up whenever you fall.  Don’t accept what the voice is saying as truth.  If it feels bad, then it’s not your true self talking.  It’s the ego.  Our higher selves have nothing but love and compassion for us.  Choose better feeling thoughts and you will feel better!

Wherever you are in this process is precisely where you are meant to be.  There is nothing to worry about and nothing to fear.  Be proud of where you are!  The fact that you are right here, right now is brilliant.  You are about to fly.

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Do you ever think about how many masks we wear on a daily basis?  We tend to change our behaviours based on the situation, the environment, and the people around us.  We do things to be cool, fit in, and to make other people like us.  We may realize we’re doing it, or we may not have a clue that we’re not being our true selves.  We wear masks so often that some of us don’t even know who we really are or what we like!

Our minds chatter 24/7, but it’s not our true selves talking.  We’re the consciousness behind the voice.  The voice keeps us small and doesn’t want us to take risks because it wants to protect us. We believe everything the voice tells us, and tend not to question ourselves because they’re OUR thoughts.  We’ve invested a lot of time and energy amassing them and we just go with the flow. Until now.

It’s time to challenge your beliefs

I had the time of my life this past weekend in New Jersey with Tony Robbins and 7000 other people.  Life will never be the same again.  It really is a life changing experience.  We danced, we laughed, we cried, and we fell in love with ourselves and each other.  The love created in that room was palpable.  No one wanted to go home.  Do yourself a favour and sign up for the next Unleash the Power Within seminar right this second!  Bring your significant other, bring your kids, and bring all of the bullshit you’re ready to put down.

To give you a little itty bitty taste of the experience, below is the incantation that Tony is known for.  Say each line with power, and repeat the mantra several times to get into a peak state.  If you’re familiar with this particular mantra (pointing to my fellow firewalkers) don’t be afraid to get out of your seat, make your power move, and tell the voice who is in charge!

Photo 2015-03-10, 1 17 30 PMWe all have a set of beliefs that we carry around that we think are absolute truths.  They are intimately tied to our identity, and along with our values, they run the show.  However, these beliefs carry consequences and they hold us back.  If you’re optimistic, then you’re really in trouble because you think things will get better, but they won’t, not until you get the root of those limiting beliefs and pull them out of your body forever.

What are your limiting beliefs? Maybe the voice in your head sounds like this: “I’ll never lose weight.  I don’t like speaking in public.  I’m scared to be alone.  I’m not smart enough.  I don’t have the education.  No one with hire me.  I’m too young.  I’m too old.  I’m…fill in the blank.”  Do yourself a favour and start paying attention to your mental chatter.  What excuses do you use on a regular basis?  What complaints would your friends recognize that you say all. the. time.?  Now ask yourself this:

What have these thoughts prevented you from doing or becoming?  What have you missed out on?  

Think back 5 or 10 years.  What haven’t you done because of your fears?  What beliefs have kept you small?  Until last year, I used the excuse “Having young kids is hard.” Having given birth to 3 kids in 3 years I wholeheartedly believed that my kids were holding me back, and my story is pretty valid, so I REALLY believed it.  Then one day I decided that enough was enough and I was done with my excuses and that I going to make things happen in my life!

Change happens in an instant. 

One second I was a victim of 3 little kids and the next second I was successful with 3 little kids. What happened?  I raised my standards.   I went from putting my kids first and being unhappy and stressed to making time for myself and ensuring that I do things that make me happy on a daily basis, if not all day long!  I took back my power from the situation, changed my thoughts, and became the voice!

If there is something in your life right now that you can’t change, think again.  What are the limiting beliefs at the forefront of your excuse?  Realize that you’re telling yourself a story.  The second you realize your thoughts are holding you back is the instant you can take back your voice and regain control of your life.

Rewrite your story.

Write down 3 limiting beliefs.  Below them, write the truth.  For instance, if your story is that you can’t lose weight, cross it out and write “I live in Divine health.” “I have a beautiful, sexy body.” or “My body is finding its ideal weight effortlessly.”

If you’re struggling with confidence and you think “life is hard,” cross it out and write “I love how easy life is,” “I wake up each day knowing that something amazing is going to happen”, or go all in with “I am the creator of my reality!”

The stories we sell ourselves matter.  They shape our experience in every single moment.  If you believe people are assholes, then that is what you will experience.  If you believe people with money are ungrateful trust fund babies, then you’re going to get that experience as well.  But, if you rewrite your stories to include “strangers are nice,” “I’m so lucky,” or “this is the best day yet,” then that will be your experience.

Every thought we have is a prayer sent into the Universe.  When we think happy thoughts, happiness is what we perceive.   When we’re negative and lashing out, we get that back as well. The silent saboteur behind all of these feelings are the beliefs that we carry about the world. What energy will you be sharing the universe today?  Be outstanding!!

Everything is a Gift

We tend to think things happen to us when we’re powerless and suffering.  We take things personally and we feel angry and defeated.  We think things are out of our control or that we’re being punished.  But things never happen to us – they happen FOR us.  Each and every moment is an opportunity to create a new reality for ourselves.  There is a huge difference in reality between thinking things are happening to us vs. for us.  Each moment is an opportunity to grow.

“The world is only in the mind of its maker.”


We are constantly being guided.  When we haven’t been listening to the soft little nudges to change that the Universe gives us, it throws something big at us to get our attention.  It’s not because we’re being punished.  We’re being helped.  The energy on the planet is shifting.  Mediocrity is no longer being accepted.  The status quo will no longer suffice.  It’s time to get off our asses and change things, or things will change for us.

A year ago, I never imagined that I would be the person I’ve become.  I wanted to be here very badly, but it wasn’t a possibility in my mind.  I thought about how I wasn’t living the life I wanted.  I was unhappy and I knew it.  I felt powerless to change my relationship, myself, and where my life was headed.  Then one day, it happened for me.  My relationship imploded and a new beginning was thrust upon me.  But as hard as it was, it was my chance to reinvent myself for the better, and that’s what I set out to do.  I stepped into my power and knew that something amazing was going to happen.  The Universe was happening for me.  Intense growth occurs in times of intense strife.  After all, what have we learned when things went well?

Blowups in relationships are blessings.  They tear down falsities and beg us to show our true selves.  Anything that is not true will fall away and we’ll be standing there bare anyway, so we may as well take control and be true to ourselves.  I didn’t know I had the power to change it all back then.  I wasn’t listening to the little nudges to be a writer or become a life coach, and I wasn’t happy.  My spirit was suffering and I thought I had to follow through with my commitment to be a stay at home mom.  I focused on everything that was wrong and that got me nowhere.  Now I think to myself, “What is going right? How is my life really awesome?”  Better questions, better answers.

If something terrible has happened to you recently, take it from me that the earlier you can see the blessing in the situation the better.  Everything is a gift.  The good and the bad.  It’s all awesome.  No matter what it is, a year from now, you’re going to have an entirely new vantage point.  The sooner you can see the blessings, the sooner you can get to the other side.

Is the Universe nudging you to change something in your life?  Do you have a nagging feeling that something is off, something that you need to face?  I encourage you to think about your daily life and ask yourself if this were the last day of your life, would you want to do what you’re going to do today?  What would you rather do?  What really gets you excited?

Today I believe my life is about to change again.  I’m in the driver’s seat and I’m at another tipping point and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store!  Now that I am completely aware of my power to create the life of my dreams, I can’t wait to use it every single day to manifest the life that I have imagined for so long.  Today I will Unleash The Power Within some more.  Only 2 hours until we see Tony Robbins and I cannot wait!!!