I cannot even begin to describe the excitement with which I anticipate your arrival. Part of me wants to meet you right this second while part of me wants you to stay safely tucked away forever. I wonder what you look like all the time. Will you have my nose or your daddy’s? Are you really a boy like they said, or are we going to have one big surprise come delivery day? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
I can already picture you growing up. I know the time is going to go by way too fast, so I am going to live each and every moment as if it’s all I have to hold onto. I’ve already been cherishing every moment we have together. I feel your little body testing its limbs. You’re already so strong. Sometimes I think you’re going to escape right through my skin. When I’m least expecting it, your little foot reaches out and pokes my right arm. I know it’s a foot because at the same time, I can feel your little fingers wiggling.
Your head is down, and it has been for the last few months. You really like to lay on mommy’s left side, although you still do somersaults at 36 weeks and move in a second from one side to the other. Sometimes I even scream aloud when you kick me. I can’t help it. It scares the dogs and they look at me like “What the hell?!” You’ve even made me jump in pain when you hit a nerve in my legs. The pain shoots right down and out of my feet, like lightning. I never know when it’s going to happen, and it sure surprises me. I have to sit down sometimes because I’m afraid I’ll lose control of my legs and fall.
I have a feeling you know exactly when I’m thinking of you because you always start moving. While I’ve been writing this letter, you’ve been squirming around and kicking your feet straight out into my tummy. I always thought baby movements would feel so foreign, and so strange, but they feel like the most normal thing you can think of, like walking down the street kind of normal.
I’m going to miss you in my tummy. I will feel a loss when you leave me, but I will feel like the luckiest mom in the world to meet you for the first time. I can’t wait for that day. But until it comes, I will cherish every kick, every squirmy hand, every lightening pain, and every hiccup. We’ll never have time together like we do right now, you and me. I already love you so very much.