How Do I Enjoy My Own Positivity Without Getting Weighed Down By My Parter’s Negativity?

You actually started answering your own question within the rest of your question! Appreciation will get you a long way with respect to this issue. Appreciate the good father that he is. Appreciate the great man he is and the wonderful things he does. When he is stressing and worrying, gently point out the other side of the coin, yet know when it’s time to understand and not explain anything at all. A lot of couples get caught up in thoughts about what they don’t like about their spouses, and nothing good will ever come of that. You’ve got to appreciate what you love about them and find some lighthearted joy along the way, tending to your own vibration as need be. Daydream about what your perfect relationship looks like and ignore the rest.

It is ok to let yourself be happy while someone right next to you is freaking out. A lot of the time we dim our light because we think it will make someone else feel better, but all it does is make us feel terrible and doesn’t help the situation at all anyway. When someone close to you is disconnected from who they really are, stop paying attention to their current behaviour. Instead, go inward and make the connection to your inner being. Feel what your inner being is feeling and follow the guidance you receive. You will either know what to say or know what to do in that moment. Just follow your intuition whether it makes sense to you or not!

You probably have learned to do this already with your kids! You ignore their tantrums and hold the space for them to return to the angelic beings you know they really are. Do the same thing with your husband. If you let him go on and on complaining about something, you’re enabling this behaviour and it will continue. When you find the connection to your inner being, you are connected to the Source of your guidance. If you need a moment to yourself, take it. At least you can explain the reason you are pulling away; you can have an intelligent conversation with your partner that you are usually unable to have with your kids!

My partner and I agree to call each other out on our bullshit.  It doesn’t mean it’s always well received, but we agree to it and we learn from it.  You can also energetically move the energy around any issue by thinking better feeling thoughts with regard to them such as “I love when my partner tells me about the good parts of his day. I love hearing about all of the things that excite him. I love knowing that no matter how bad his day is, he brings the best of himself home to his family. I love how he can make me laugh, etc.” In time you will get better and better with regard to controlling your thoughts.

If you can control your thoughts with respect to your partner for even the smallest amount of time, you will see change. Do your best to tailor your thoughts to something that is already true for you or else it’s not going to help you because you will know deep down it is a lie. Fake it until you make it just doesn’t work for me. Being true to my heart always does.

Use Distance as a Tool

Put some distance between you and him whenever you feel the need. Your intuition will let you know because you’ll have this nagging pit in your stomach that tells you to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. Listen to this feeling and let yourself go!

Meditate, take a shower or bath, or go for a run. Listen to your favourite song really, really loud and dance around the kitchen with headphones on. I can’t tell you how many times going for a run has saved my sanity. Run/walk, whatever. Get some fresh air and clear your mind. It’s as easy as saying “Honey, do you mind if I go for a run?” Done. Answers come to me so easily while I am running. I will know what to say to my partner about a certain issue, or I will know how to deal with a certain issue with my kids, or I’ll get the idea to do something I’d never even considered before which solves a problem I didn’t know I even had. It’s incredible what guidance comes when you make t a priority to listen!

Lead By Example.

In time, your partner will see how calm you are and may start doing the same. He would benefit from a hobby he loves that feeds his spirit. I use the example of running because it’s what I love to do to clear my mind. If he can find something that clears his mind, it will do him (and you) a world of good. Because, if you aren’t doing something to bring yourself into alignment with who you really are, you’re grasping at straws and won’t have anything to give anyone else anyway. When you’re not in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety easily take hold. When you’re in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety don’t even exist. Love always prevails in the state of alignment.

There is no need to think about your problems when you run/exercise. Just clear your head and listen for your guidance. Your guides know more about you than you do. They also know the shortcut to everything you have ever asked for. I’m not entirely sure we need to think about anything ever again. Just ask to find solutions and listen for the answers to come. Expect them to come.

When you wake up in the morning, before you mentally jump into your to-do list, just lay there and listen for the answers to come. If you are working on your receptivity to your guidance, the fuzzy area between the awake and sleep states is a great time to allow this clarity to wash over you.

Perception is Tricky

We often create problems in our own minds that have no basis in reality. Communication is the key. Have a problem in your relationship? Talk about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. If it’s dragging you down, it’s worth getting it out in the open. When issues have roots, you’ve got to address them. Just find your alignment and then raise the issue with your partner when you are in a good feeling place about it.

I know a lot of spiritual teachers will tell you to stop looking at a problem and focus on the solution, which is valid for sure, but sometimes you just can’t get your mind off something and not talking about it ends up hurting the relationship. I have had much quicker success in my own life by addressing my issues with honesty and the knowing I have in my heart. It has made my parter and I closer than I ever thought possible.

Go with your own personal guidance in this area. No matter what anyone says, its always best to go with your intuition. What’s best for me may not me best for you. Some issues I can ignore and they work themselves out, while others just keep coming back around. If they keep coming back, it may be time to talk about them.

Permission to Thrive

You need to give yourself permission to thrive no matter what. If it means your partner stays where he is and you outgrow him, so be it. You have to follow your truth and you can’t expect everyone to come with you. I don’t think we are meant to have the same partner for life. I think the right partners come in at the right time. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have the same partner for life, but it means that you have to accept that you will have periods of exponential growth that occur at different times. A friend told me that the trick to staying together long-term is “we never fell out of love with each other at the same time.”

Connect to your inner being. Follow your heart. Speak your truth. Take care of yourself. Know that everything is always working out for you. And look for the evidence of it all day, every day.

xo Amy

 

How to Save Yourself from Earth’s Current Insanity.

The energy on this planet right now is insane. If you watched the Second Presidential Debate, you’ll know exactly what I mean.  And if you didn’t, you’re better off. I watched about 10 minutes of it before I had to run away and save myself and I’ve spent countless hours thinking about it since…is this really happening? Have we not learned anything? How does this level of ignorance still exist? Thankfully I finally listened to my guidance and went upstairs to read. Phew.

If you’ve been feeling OFF lately, I want you to know that you are not the problem. There are crazy energies going around and being the energetic, vibrational beings you are, you’re likely feeling it. I was feeling completely off centre until I followed my guidance to start running again, and let me tell you, the energy change is just what I needed.

Instead of feeling insanely spacey, reactive, and angry, I am feeling more grounded and calm. And even when something does get the best of me (having 3 boys ages 2 to 5 will do it) I’m able to return to centre fairly quickly and let go of whatever unhinged me. I even went for an 8k run before a hot yoga class yesterday, and my yoga experience was incredible because of it. It most definitely enhanced my ability to explore my edge. I was a damn good tree yesterday.

If you’ve been feeling unusually rocky and angry lately, I highly recommend getting outside and soothing your spirit with nature. If you are able to run I encourage you to get out there and run until you can’t run anymore. Even if you have to run for 30 seconds and walk for 2 minutes to recover, get out there and do it. No excuses!

If you’re repelled by the idea get ready for a little tough love: You get out of life what you put in, and if you’re not willing to stretch your comfort zone even a little bit, you’ve got to start thinking about your priorities. Do you want to feel better? Do you want to be happier? Do you want to stop snapping at your family members? (Food for thought: Does your family get the best of you or the worst of you?) Do you want to experience more joy in your life? Do you want to feel more relaxed? Do you want to stop reacting to every little stimuli that crosses your path? Run. Walk. Anything. Just Do it as Nike says. You’ll congratulate yourself later I promise.

If something is holding you back from getting exercise, I encourage you to do a little pre-paving and psych yourself up for the amazing feelings that running will bring. I do this little exercise the second I get the inspiration to run. Think about how good it’s going to feel to have all of that oxygen running through your body. Think of how good it’s going to feel to snap your spirit back into your body. That is essentially what grounding is to me anyway – to be fully one with who you really are – to minimize the gap between physical you and non-physical you (your Higher Self or inner being). Think about that rush of endorphins you will get as you complete your run, that sense of accomplishment, that high 5 you’re going to give yourself at the end. Think about how good your jeans are going to feel after! I don’t run to lose weight but the physical changes of regular exercise certainly are a bonus!

And it’s not only running that can centre you, though it is one of my favourite go-to ways to beat the bad energy out of my body. Doing anything that excites your spirit will help. Excitement lights up our spiritual path. Do whatever it is that makes you the most YOU.

What puts the spark in your eye? Is it painting? Reading a good book? Meeting a good friend for coffee? Eating pizza? Do that. Do all of it. But don’t eat pizza because you’re unhappy and you’re trying to fill a void. Eat pizza because you fucking LOVE to eat pizza and it’s going to make a good time even better. Energy matters. The energy you eat your food with matters. The energy you do anything with matters.

Go for a run to get yourself out of a rut, but don’t eat pizza from that vantage point. Only eat pizza when you feel good, ok? There are no rules, but there’s one for you anyway. It’s more of a suggestion than a rule. Ok, ok, you are the creator of your own reality, so you can eat pizza whenever you want. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Listen to that little voice in your head and go from there ;).

Basically happiness comes down to this: Do what makes you feel good. Think thoughts that feel good. Spend time with people who you enjoy spending time with. Watch TV programs that feel good. (I watched season 1 of Narcos for instance and thought it was amazing. By the time season 2 was released I just couldn’t do it. I hated the dude and that did not feel good so that was that. I’m completely happy leaving the series incomplete for the sake of my happiness. It feels so good!)

FEEL into everything you do! We receive guidance through our feelings. Those gut feelings that you have – the thoughts that pop into your head when you ask yourself a question? Listen. To. Them. The more you do, the easier it will become to listen to your guidance in the future. It’s working out your intuitive muscles so to speak.

feelings

For example: “Do you want to order pizza?” “Umm I’m not really hungry, but yeah ok if you want to I’ll have some.” The correct response is no with that energy!!!! Say “No I don’t want any, thank you.” LISTEN to your GUT!!! Do not eat pizza because you have FOMO: Fear of missing out. If you have FOMO about anything, feel into it and ask yourself what that’s all about.

Example 2: “Do you want to order pizza?” “YES!!! OMIGOD YES I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING!!!” What are you waiting for – order the pizza!!!!

Understand? Good.

Apparently this post is really about pizza and running… I hope I cleared some things up for you with that little rant. You are powerful. You are worthy. You are doing a good job. Centre yourself and listen to your guidance. You are never wrong because is ever done. Make a decision. Listen to your guidance about it, and recalculate. Make another decision. Listen to guidance, etc. Follow your dreams and don’t let anyone talk you out of them! Or into pizza when you don’t want any.

ox Amy

 

Running Challenge: Enter A Race!

Last night I finished crafting my 6 week training program for the 15km race I entered in mid-June. After I signed up, my ego was already saying, nah, it’s ok. We don’t need to change. Let’s quit. But my spirit said “YES! Something to challenge me!”

Right then I crafted a running schedule, saw myself completing it, and got really excited. Once you start to make plans for something, you’re investing yourself, and even though I wasn’t running yet, I was already taking action.  Once I finished writing my schedule, my goal was as good as realized in spiritual truth. Conceive, believe, achieve.

My 6 week intensive 15km race training schedule: (adapted from a half marathon training guide so it’s a little intense)

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Then when I woke up this morning my ego piped up again: “I think maybe I made a bit too strong of a commitment.” It said.  “I’m doing it, ego.” My spirit replied, “It’s going to be fun.” So far my ego has accepted that we’re in it together and that it’s not going to be easy. My spirit has won for now!

I really do love running.  It’s mentally and physically challenging and there’s a huge pay-off via endorphins and a slimmer body.  What I don’t like is the toll it takes on my knees.  Last year I injured my knee and ended up taking the winter off.  So while I do love running, it’s not something that I will do every day for the rest of my life.  I guess you could say I’ve been hacking running due to my knee injury.

Running Hacks

Most of the running I’ve been doing lately has been on the treadmill at an incline of 10 or more. I run/walk/run/walk for 10 minutes as a warm-up and that’s it.  Running on an incline is the biggest bang for your buck. Less time, better challenge = better fitness, and less wear on the knee joints.

If you really want a good running workout then try sprinting on an incline.  For example, at an incline of 10, you straddle the treadmill and turn up the pace to 10 (or wherever your sprint pace is).  Run for 10 seconds, then straddle the belt and rest for 20 seconds, and repeat for 5-10 minutes.  Talk about a good workout in a short amount of time!

For long-distance running, I try to set myself up for success the best I can. I am very lucky to have good trails in a forest about 15 minutes from my house. The air is cleaner, the scenery is beautiful, and running on dirt reduces the wear on my body. If I’m in the forest I always run longer than I intend because the environment feels so right.

I strap on my heart rate monitor, press play on my audiobook, and I am in total bliss. There’s the occasional root that gets the best of me, like today, when I fell hard on my butt and pulled the opposing groin muscle, but for the most part I love the challenging environment of hills, twisting trails, and troublesome roots.

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If you’re looking for a challenge, sign up for a race.  

A 5k race is a great place to start. Plan out a training schedule and get excited.  Check off your completed runs every day and keep track of your your daily successes no matter how big or small.  Celebrate that you are doing something for yourself!

Get a heart rate monitor and make it really fun!  I love seeing my heart rate, calories burned, and how fast I’ve accomplished both.  It makes a game out of my game!

Don’t Get Comfortable: Push Yourself

What do you do when the going gets tough?  Do you push through the mental anguish, or do you give up?  How does your choice affect the way you feel?  How do you want to feel?  How you do anything is how you do everything.  If you procrastinate in one area of your life, chances are that you do it in other areas as well.

Last night was night 7 in a string of “4 month sleep regression” nights.  I had just gotten our 4 month old, Arlo, to sleep through the night about a week before, and now he sleeps worse than ever.  In the past, I would have made excuses and taken a nap at the first opportunity, but I don’t want to be that person anymore.  I want to create the life of my dreams, and I can’t do that if I’m napping every day!  To the gym I went.

I’ve started doing hill run intervals during the past few weeks, and each time I am challenged at the exact same point in my run.  And each time I am happy to say, I’ve pushed through it.  How?  It’s all in your head.  Set an intention, and you’re 99% there.  Your goal is as good as realized if you have a big enough WHY, and the intention to carry it through.  It’s how I got through 3 natural births.  I just set the intention to do it, and although it wasn’t easy, I knew that setting the intention meant that I would come out on the other side in just a matter of time.

How can you push yourself to run faster and longer?  It starts with the intention.  Ok, done.  But how do you execute that intention?  One step at a time.  When I was enduring natural back labour, I took it one second at a time.  One breathe at a time.  Looking into the future or back at the past does you no good in the “right now.”  There’s no sense worrying about having to run for another minute to finish an interval when you are working in seconds.

It also helps to have a workout plan.  If you’re flying by the seat of your pants then you’re planning to fail.  My go-to workout at the moment is Treadmill Trainer Volume 1.  Every time I use this workout, there is a point where I seriously think about giving up, and every time Yuri comes on and says “Do not give up. You’ve committed to this interval so let’s finish it!”  And every time it gives me that extra mental push I needed.  Do you think I could run uphill intervals for an hour by myself.  Heck no.  It helps to have a guide.

Whether my interval lasts 45 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes, I take it one second at a time.  In order to quiet the mental chatter, I count to 10.  Over an over.  My mental chatter sounds like this: “1, (breathe out) 2, (breathe in) 3, (breathe out) 4, (breathe in)…10 (breathe in) ONE!” That last ONE meaning I have finished one set of 10.  And I just keep on counting until my interval is over, at which point I congratulate the crap out of myself for making it through, mostly in my head, until the end of my workout.  Then there is one massive outward celebration that usually includes dancing and people staring at me :).  I texted the hubby this photo today because I was so proud and wanted to share my moment with him:

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You have to celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may be, because doing so adds gratitude, excitement, and happiness to your life and invigorates your Spirit.  Happiness is vital for the momentum to keep going.  If you hate working out, you’re not going to get very far with your goals.  Find enjoyment in the process!

Don’t get comfortable.  Break through your ceilings, again and again.  Push yourself to get to that next level.  Don’t leave the gym thinking that you could have gone harder.  Put in the work and celebrate your successes as they come!  Be grateful for your ability to push yourself and be grateful for the benefits as you notice them.  For instance, you may notice that it’s easier to get up off the couch, you can lift your kids easier, it’s easier to breathe, you can breathe deeper, you’re happier, the people around you can feel it, and they’re happier because of the energy you’re bringing home.

 

 

 

Running is SO Easy!

Treadmill Trainer Volume 2

Treadmill Trainer Volume 2

I just got in from an accidental run that turned out to be my fastest, happiest run to date!

Sitting at my computer enjoying some raw chocolate pudding and a fabulous green juice, I simply had too much energy to sit still.  So I got out my ipod, downloaded Treadmill Trainer Volume 2 onto it, and set out for the boardwalk.

This is the first time I’ve finished the entire workout, and I seriously had a smile on my face the whole time!  There are 2 spots where Yuri says you can stop, and I’ve taken him up on his offer times before, but I was in the zone and feeling like I could just kill the workout.  And I did!  I even ran home after I finished stretching!

I love his workouts and the way he talks to you as if he’s right there beside you.  I even talk back to him and answer all of his questions out loud!  For example, when the workout was over he asks: “How are you feeling right now?” Amazing!  “How did you feel 10 minutes ago?”  Amazing!  “How did you feel when you woke up this morning?”  Umm…not this good…no.  (I had to talk myself into going to yoga this morning)  Then I patted myself on the back (because he told me to) and congratulated myself on running 10 k in approximately 45 minutes…and I’m not a runner!  For comparison, I ran a 5k in April and my time was 29:41…and I was dead tired and wanted to throw up…a lot.  What a difference!

I just recently started running, and I’ve only run two 10 k’s before tonight.  I usually just do 5 k’s because I get bored of running after 30 minutes.  But since I signed up for a half marathon 5 months ago, and put off training until pretty much right now, it’s time to get serious…hence the Treadmill Trainer series of workouts being downloaded to my ipod.  After tonight I feel certain I am going to have a competitive time in the run, and I really can’t wait to do it!  I think I’m going to do intervals during the run.  I’ll just listen to the Treadmill Trainers even then.  That would be funny.  The motivation he gives during the workouts is priceless.  I’m seriously going to listen to the training audio when I run the race.

I should definitely add:  I highly recommend Volumes 2 and 3 plus all the hill running stuff, but only get Volume 1 if you are JUST starting out.  It involves walking and running, perfect for beginners, but you may find it too slow if you have any experience.  That being said, Volume 2 will kick your a** no matter what level of runner you are!  If you disagree and think you’re some big time runner, then you HAVE to try it.  It’ll step up your game so much and you’ll be thankful for the challenge!!!  Happy running 🙂