How Do I Enjoy My Own Positivity Without Getting Weighed Down By My Parter’s Negativity?

You actually started answering your own question within the rest of your question! Appreciation will get you a long way with respect to this issue. Appreciate the good father that he is. Appreciate the great man he is and the wonderful things he does. When he is stressing and worrying, gently point out the other side of the coin, yet know when it’s time to understand and not explain anything at all. A lot of couples get caught up in thoughts about what they don’t like about their spouses, and nothing good will ever come of that. You’ve got to appreciate what you love about them and find some lighthearted joy along the way, tending to your own vibration as need be. Daydream about what your perfect relationship looks like and ignore the rest.

It is ok to let yourself be happy while someone right next to you is freaking out. A lot of the time we dim our light because we think it will make someone else feel better, but all it does is make us feel terrible and doesn’t help the situation at all anyway. When someone close to you is disconnected from who they really are, stop paying attention to their current behaviour. Instead, go inward and make the connection to your inner being. Feel what your inner being is feeling and follow the guidance you receive. You will either know what to say or know what to do in that moment. Just follow your intuition whether it makes sense to you or not!

You probably have learned to do this already with your kids! You ignore their tantrums and hold the space for them to return to the angelic beings you know they really are. Do the same thing with your husband. If you let him go on and on complaining about something, you’re enabling this behaviour and it will continue. When you find the connection to your inner being, you are connected to the Source of your guidance. If you need a moment to yourself, take it. At least you can explain the reason you are pulling away; you can have an intelligent conversation with your partner that you are usually unable to have with your kids!

My partner and I agree to call each other out on our bullshit.  It doesn’t mean it’s always well received, but we agree to it and we learn from it.  You can also energetically move the energy around any issue by thinking better feeling thoughts with regard to them such as “I love when my partner tells me about the good parts of his day. I love hearing about all of the things that excite him. I love knowing that no matter how bad his day is, he brings the best of himself home to his family. I love how he can make me laugh, etc.” In time you will get better and better with regard to controlling your thoughts.

If you can control your thoughts with respect to your partner for even the smallest amount of time, you will see change. Do your best to tailor your thoughts to something that is already true for you or else it’s not going to help you because you will know deep down it is a lie. Fake it until you make it just doesn’t work for me. Being true to my heart always does.

Use Distance as a Tool

Put some distance between you and him whenever you feel the need. Your intuition will let you know because you’ll have this nagging pit in your stomach that tells you to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. Listen to this feeling and let yourself go!

Meditate, take a shower or bath, or go for a run. Listen to your favourite song really, really loud and dance around the kitchen with headphones on. I can’t tell you how many times going for a run has saved my sanity. Run/walk, whatever. Get some fresh air and clear your mind. It’s as easy as saying “Honey, do you mind if I go for a run?” Done. Answers come to me so easily while I am running. I will know what to say to my partner about a certain issue, or I will know how to deal with a certain issue with my kids, or I’ll get the idea to do something I’d never even considered before which solves a problem I didn’t know I even had. It’s incredible what guidance comes when you make t a priority to listen!

Lead By Example.

In time, your partner will see how calm you are and may start doing the same. He would benefit from a hobby he loves that feeds his spirit. I use the example of running because it’s what I love to do to clear my mind. If he can find something that clears his mind, it will do him (and you) a world of good. Because, if you aren’t doing something to bring yourself into alignment with who you really are, you’re grasping at straws and won’t have anything to give anyone else anyway. When you’re not in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety easily take hold. When you’re in alignment, worry, fear, and anxiety don’t even exist. Love always prevails in the state of alignment.

There is no need to think about your problems when you run/exercise. Just clear your head and listen for your guidance. Your guides know more about you than you do. They also know the shortcut to everything you have ever asked for. I’m not entirely sure we need to think about anything ever again. Just ask to find solutions and listen for the answers to come. Expect them to come.

When you wake up in the morning, before you mentally jump into your to-do list, just lay there and listen for the answers to come. If you are working on your receptivity to your guidance, the fuzzy area between the awake and sleep states is a great time to allow this clarity to wash over you.

Perception is Tricky

We often create problems in our own minds that have no basis in reality. Communication is the key. Have a problem in your relationship? Talk about it. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small. If it’s dragging you down, it’s worth getting it out in the open. When issues have roots, you’ve got to address them. Just find your alignment and then raise the issue with your partner when you are in a good feeling place about it.

I know a lot of spiritual teachers will tell you to stop looking at a problem and focus on the solution, which is valid for sure, but sometimes you just can’t get your mind off something and not talking about it ends up hurting the relationship. I have had much quicker success in my own life by addressing my issues with honesty and the knowing I have in my heart. It has made my parter and I closer than I ever thought possible.

Go with your own personal guidance in this area. No matter what anyone says, its always best to go with your intuition. What’s best for me may not me best for you. Some issues I can ignore and they work themselves out, while others just keep coming back around. If they keep coming back, it may be time to talk about them.

Permission to Thrive

You need to give yourself permission to thrive no matter what. If it means your partner stays where he is and you outgrow him, so be it. You have to follow your truth and you can’t expect everyone to come with you. I don’t think we are meant to have the same partner for life. I think the right partners come in at the right time. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have the same partner for life, but it means that you have to accept that you will have periods of exponential growth that occur at different times. A friend told me that the trick to staying together long-term is “we never fell out of love with each other at the same time.”

Connect to your inner being. Follow your heart. Speak your truth. Take care of yourself. Know that everything is always working out for you. And look for the evidence of it all day, every day.

xo Amy

 

Is Your Story Serving You?

My story is inspiring. It’s incredible. And yet as inspiring and uplifting as my story is, it never feels good to talk about it. To be completely honest, looking back at it in any capacity at all doesn’t feel good!

As amazing as your story may be, looking back at it brings the past into the present moment. As uplifting as the message is, bringing any pain into the present moment just doesn’t feel good. When you claim the past in the present, you are muddying up the perfection that is now. It feels so good to be in the now, where anything and everything is possible.

When you breathe deeply and claim “I am here now in the present moment,” you open space in your physical body to flow Source energy. “I am Source in the present moment” is even more powerful. You are spirit flowing through a physical body. You cannot NOT be connected to Source. You are Source. That will never change.

Obviously, you can do as you wish. I just want you to bring your attention to how you feel when you go into detail about things that are not working in your life. How does it make you feel? Perhaps you would feel better if you focused on the solution to what is not working? Once you have felt the pain of a situation, it’s time to focus on feeling better. You know what you don’t want, so what do you want?

People are going to do what they’re going to do and there is nothing you can do to change it. But you can change your reaction to it and you can change what you think about. When I’m hurting for whatever reason, I choose to fantasize about things that I really want to feel. You can start anywhere and get a pretty good rampage of appreciation going with just a little bit of focus and the intention to feel better.

Here’s an example of my mental game when I was at the lowest point in my life:

“I know that I’m going to be happy. When I am on the other side of this, it’s going to feel really good. I am so lucky to have my boys. I am so lucky that they chose me to be their mom! They are so precious and beautiful inside and out. I love that when I hug them, I can easily connect to Source energy. I know that there is so much more for me. I love knowing that I can connect to this Source whenever I choose. I love knowing that everything is always working out for me, even though I can’t see it yet. I know that there is so much working out for me right now that I can’t see! How amazing is it to know that we are truly loved regardless of what other humans are saying and doing? I love that I can feel whole and complete all on my own. How amazing is it that I have so much to look forward to in this life? I know that I created this and I take full responsibility for myself. It is so empowering to know that I create my own reality!”

I have no idea what caused me to catapult into this knowing, but I knew. I opened up to spirit so intensely and so easily. I imagine it is because I was never that far away from it, and my desire to feel good had never been stronger in that moment of pain. I was asking, they were responding, and in my desire to feel better I let it in.

Negative thinking is just a habit, and a habit can be changed – especially when you recognize what is going on at an energetic level. If thoughts are energy, and energy is everything in this vibrational Universe, your thoughts are creating your reality. The things you say are creating your reality. The frequency you hold is creating your reality.

Each moment is a new opportunity to create a different reality from the one you are currently in. The present moment is all you have. It is the point of creation. So, what do you want to do with it? Do you want to complain? Do you want to talk about what people have done in the past to hurt you? Do you want to yell at your kids?

Or, do you want to appreciate? Do you want to love? Do you want excitement? Do you want to open your heart? Do you want to feel good? Do you want to create something new?

I want to love. I want to open my heart. I want to live my life flowing Source energy. I want to feel connected to all that is. I want to thrive. I want my sons to thrive. I want to be incredibly blissfully happy. I want to have a relationship with my partner that is full of passion. I want to tap into my inner being’s perspective and to live a life full of precious  gifts – moments that I couldn’t plan if I tried from my human perspective. I want to trust that everything is always working out for me. I want to know that everything is always really ok. I want to live life knowing that there is never any risk.

Now, if we bring all of those wants into this feeling moment, it would sound something like this:

I love loving. I love living my life with an open heart. I love feeling Source energy flow through me. I love being connected to all that is. I love thriving in this time space reality. I love that my children are thriving and that I am incredibly blissfully happy. I love that my relationship is full of passion and love. I love those moments when I am at one with my inner being’s perspective, when my heart is glowing with pure love and joy, and I love seeing the manifestations of my vibration. I trust that everything is always working out for me. I love knowing that there is no risk. I love knowing that there is nothing to fear. All is well.

xo Amy

Q&A: How Do I Stop Feeling Like I Can Never Catch Up?

Busyness is an epidemic in our society. Everyone is so busy doing that they’re missing the point of being in the moment. The key to taking control of your crazy life, just like anything else, lies in your heart.

Wherever you are, you can get to where you want to be. It helps if you have a specific goal in mind but it’s not necessary. Simply knowing what you want to feel is good enough. For instance, you may know that you want to be a painter, so you paint when you feel the inspiration. If you don’t have “time” – make time. Schedule it in. If you don’t know what is it you are looking for, you can appreciate the feeling of how you want to feel. For instance, you can feel what it wold feel like to have unlimited time, ease, love, connection, and excitement.

All of this is going to come together via the Law of Attraction. Like attracts like. The vibration you put out is the one you receive. Things are always in a state of change. Nothing ever stays the same. But, you may not notice the change because things are changing to more of the same and more of the same and more of the same.

“Work is hard.” “I hate my job” “I never have enough time” etc. are thoughts that are going to change to more and more of the same. If you can practice feeling appreciation and joy in your daily experience, it will raise your vibration enough so that as time passes, you will see palpable change. Happier people will enter into your experience. There will be more laughing and more spontaneity. In general, you will feel more excitement in your life.

Over time, you will begin to notice how your thoughts create your reality. And in greater time, you will see just how powerful of a co-creator you really are. Eventually you will come to know that you can be, do, or have anything you desire because your life experience will show you time and time again that you get what you think about whether you want it or not.

The easiest way to get the momentum rolling in the right direction is to take time every single morning to make sure you get out of bed with the right mindset. If you wake up with a  debilitating thought, take the time to think of a better feeling thought on that subject, or choose another subject all together. I recommend leaving your thoughts on any subject in a better feeling place because it is incredibly empowering to know that you are in charge of your thoughts and that they are not in charge of you. Plus, it feels better!

Tips for improving your current job:

  1. Set the intention when you go to bed to wake up in a good mood, full of energy and enthusiasm for your job in the morning. Intention is everything. Most people pre-pave their days full of dislike for their jobs. This is your chance to choose your own adventure the day before.
  2. If you wake up in dread with the thought of going to work, wake up 45 minutes earlier and go for a quick run. Movement of the body is important to move energy, so if you can swing it, get yourself moving!
  3. If working out sounds impossible, (I can literally hear you groaning) choose any thought about your job that you really like. Appreciate how good that thought feels and appreciate the people who make your job fun.
  4. Meditate. Set your alarm for 15-20 minutes and sit with the intention to simply be. Breathe deeply and feel for the love that is omnipresent. Focus on your heart chakra and let in the love.
  5. Appreciate all day long. Especially when you notice negative thoughts. Even people you have always perceived as completely awful will change right before your eyes if you only see the good in them and find things to appreciate. And when a compliment for someone pops into your head, share it! You are an uplifter at heart!

And last but not least, take time for yourself. Put yourself first. It’s not selfish to do what you want to do. It’s IMPERATIVE to being happy. Take care of yourself and do what makes you happy. If you don’t do this, you won’t have any energy to give anyone else anyway. This means saying NO to a lot of thing you are currently saying YES to and regretting. If it’s not a HELL YES it’s a HELL NO. Remember this one thing alone and I guarantee you will catch up and feel an immediate increase of joy in your daily life!

The happier you are, the more tapped into your spirit you will be, and the easier it will be for you to hear the inspiring thoughts your spirit is constantly sharing with you. This is why meditation is so important. It is an open invitation to spirit. When you quiet your mind, you are better able to hear your guidance. Spiritual guidance is not reserved for psychics and mediums. If you are a human on Earth, you have spiritual guidance because the “spirit you” thought the “physical you” into being. And that same energy that created you is flowing through you now, creating with your thoughts and your overall vibration. The frequency you emit is what the law of attraction responds to in each and every waking moment.

Pay attention to that little voice in your head. Most thoughts that feel really, really good to you are actually guidance from spirit. Spirit knows exactly what you want and how to get it to you in the easiest of ways, but often we ignore these amazing thoughts and counter them with thoughts like “I can’t do that”. Yes, you can. If you received and inspiring thought, you can do it. Think about it some more and get really excited about it. You can be, do, or have anything you desire. All you have to do is align with your spirit on a daily basis and let it all in. You don’t even need to think anymore. You just have to be happy and let the law of attraction and spirit show you the way!

Guidance is Everywhere. Listen.

I took my 3 young boys to the the dentist today, taking a bullet that I didn’t want to take because sometimes I have to be something we call an “adult”. I don’t feel like an adult. Does anyone? Every few weeks I have a moment where I think “how do I have 3 kids?!” One day you have no kids and the next you’re entire world is upside down and ruled by a 7lb scream machine. There’s no test. There should be a test!

When I went to the school to pick up my 2 oldest for lunch before the dentist, I had a quick chat with another mother. A mother that I actually met at an airport in Barbados I might add. We ended up renting in the same condo building down there. Then a few days after we returned home, I saw her walking down my street. Apparently we never had the “where are you from?” conversation. The Universe amazes me with its little games every single day.

She told me that she’s been picking up her kids for lunch for years. And I told her that this is the second time I’ve ever done it. I have no problem telling my children that they’re going to eat lunch in the school cafeteria with the rest of the kids. It’s good for me, and what’s good for me is good for them. If I had to pick them up every single day I would be a mess! No just no. Not happening.

She told me that when it gets cold it’s really hard to have to pick them up for lunch. So I suggested that when it gets cold she should tell them that it’s time for them to stay for lunch. I wanted to open up the space for her to make her own decision, but let her know that if it’s making her unhappy in any way, she should allow herself the freedom to do what feels better. Something prompted me to sit beside her. Spirit is always guiding us. I was her flashing red light of guidance with a message she was ready to hear. But, we have to take action on our guidance. I say what I feel inspired to say, and I don’t take it personally when people don’t hear what I say, but the pull to sit beside her was so strong and the conversation guided itself. Pure inspiration: in spirit.

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Leaving my kids at school for lunch time gives them time to play, and me and extra hour and a half of work each day. They play outside for 30 minutes before they eat. If I picked them up they’d miss out on valuable exercise and fun! Also, it makes the times I DO pick them up extra special. The last time I picked up Oscar for lunch, we went on a little date to the French Restaurant behind our house. He was so excited, and so was I. It was valuable 1 on 1 time that we rarely get and I’m excited to do it again 🙂

Talking with this mother for a few minutes made me reevaluate my entire life. Is it making you reevaluate your own? Is there anything you’re doing now that you don’t want to do? Is there any way to shift the responsibility in any way to give yourself more freedom and relief? I even called my Cable/Internet provider and changed my plan to save me $45 a month because I don’t want to pay for a phone line we don’t use and channels we don’t watch. That’s $540 a year!

If there is anything that has been on your mind lately that you want to change, do it now. It’s so much less painful when you listen to your guidance and follow through with action than if you let it eat away at your soul for the next weeks, months, and years. Just as I wrote that, I got the feeling that I need to go to the dentist. That is my guidance system chiming in with something that needs to be done. I’ve been saying for way too long that I need to go, so in the spirit of this message (and the honouring of spirit’s message) I will take my own advice and make an appointment tomorrow!

What thoughts and feelings are popping into your head? What do you need to change? What needs completion? What “adulting” have you been putting off? Listen to those thoughts and feelings, that guidance, and TAKE ACTION!

 

New is Always Possible.

Have you ever had this conversation? You get together with friends you haven’t seen in awhile and ask them what’s new. And they literally say nothing. “Nothing. Same old stuff.” It’s depressing hearing about it and it’s got to be depressing talking about it. Even before I went through this life transformation, these kinds of conversations sucked the life out of me. And now that I know that life is what you make it, these kinds of conversations are nothing short of suffocating.

I find myself silently (or no so silently depending on the situation) backing out of old unfulfilling relationships and running full of excitement toward others. I used to feel bad about it but not any more.

When relationships become difficult to maintain, a lot of the time it’s the Universe nudging us in a different direction. If you’ve tried for months to get together with a friend and it seems to never work out, it’s worth directing a little mental effort toward the situation and asking yourself if perhaps the relationship has run its course.

The same goes with family members. If the family you grew up in provided nothing but discomfort, that discomfort is a blessing. Your soul is using discomfort to direct you in another direction. You were born into what you don’t want so that your soul could yearn and create the desire for the life you do want.

Without this contrast it would be very difficult to know what direction you want to travel. If we were all born with the proverbial silver spoon in our mouths, we may not find the inspiration to create the life of our dreams. A lot of the fun comes from the creative aspect of molding our lives the way we want them to be. Discontent brings clarity in a way because by knowing what we do want, we know clearly what we do want!

Now, how do you get it? You learn to listen to your heart and put into action the guidance you receive. You learn to say no to what you don’t enjoy and YES to everything else.

Just today I was asked if I would like to provide recipes for a new start up business. Yesterday I was asked if I wanted to take photos for a new cookbook, and my answer was an unapologetic “no” both times. I still explained myself but my spirit made no apologies. It just wouldn’t bring me joy.

Now, if she had asked to book  a life coaching session I would be there in a heartbeat! Why? Because it fires me up. It excites me. It brings my light into this world. I love to bring joy into other people’s lives by helping them see how incredibly powerful they are! There is nothing more exciting for me than witnessing someone stepping into their power and taking control of their lives. It’s incredibly beautiful to witness.

If you’re stuck in a rut, I want you to know that all you have to do is ask yourself the right questions. What fires me up? What is exciting? If your life is lacking excitement, you don’t need to go out and have an affair. You don’t need to smoke up or take mind altering drugs. You don’t need to drink. And you certainly don’t need to order pizza and binge watch Netflix another night in a row.

What you need to do is wake up. Wake up to the spirit within that is trying to get your attention. Feel into the discomfort in your life and ask your spirit what it is trying to tell you. You are the only person who can make you happy. No person/place/thing can do it for you. No affair/vacation/new car will fill the void that listening to your spirit can fill. Happiness is an inside job and that will never, ever change.

A new outlook is possible. A new norm is possible. A new love of self is possible. Reigniting a failing marriage is possible. Creating a new relationship with your kids is possible. Completely changing careers in mid life is possible.

Creating a new exciting life right now is possible. But the only path I know that works is through complete honesty, integrity and truth between you and you.

It’s through humility. It’s through love. It’s through your heart. It’s through your spirit; your soul; your inner being; your higher self. It’s through having the tough conversations in silence that your ego tries to avoid through action. It’s about slowing down, going within, and asking yourself what it’s really going to take for you to be happy. Because if you’re not happy, what’s the point of all this anyway?

Meditation to Calm the Emotional Body

I had an appointment with spirit a few days ago. I was nervous before the call began, but once I was in it, everything was just perfect. I was calm, open, and in tune with that which I really am.

I’ve been an emotional person for as long as I can remember. I pick up any and all energy around me and sometimes it takes me way too long to realize that what I am carrying isn’t mine. I clear myself whenever I make that connection, and then I feel like me once again. I clear and shield myself many times each day.

For instance, when I dropped my son off at his first day of kindergarten, I cried like crazy, which may seem normal, but it’s not my normal. While walking back to the house I asked Archangel Michael to clear me and I immediately stopped crying and felt like myself again. What happened is that I picked up on the collective energy that day which was probably mostly from the kids who were feeling the parental/child separation deeply.

So, when I spoke with Mel, who was channeling a reading for me with his higher self, John, he narrowed in on my emotional body immediately and how it was running away with me. I asked him why I feel so sick so often, and he said that I have been an emotional dumping ground and it’s gotten to the point where I am physically manifesting imbalance, which are hormonal issues in my case. I have only one working ovary (which John told me approx. 8 years ago) and the one that does work is rampant with male energy.

Most of my questions were given the same answer: Meditate frequently and focus on the heart centre. My homework is to picture a flower while sitting and meditating – any flower in any colour – and rhythmically breathe in new energy from Mother Earth while releasing old pent up energy. In addition to meditation, I am to focus on whole foods and eat nothing processed at all. I must also go to an energy healer and have them retune my ovaries and open the meridians on the bottom of my feet so that energy can flow through my body (I had this done 8 years ago as well and it was amazing).  I need to focus on bringing energy into my heart chakra.

This morning I pulled this ever so fitting card from my oracle deck:

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You are awakening to your Inner Light an opening to new levels of spiritual understanding and awareness. Guides and teachers are working with you to assist in this awakening. Support is coming in the human form as well. Those who are knowledgeable and experienced will be there to offer their support as needed. The main color of green in this card shows that, to know our own Inner Light is to know our own Heart. Enjoy the experience, stay connected and the rest will happen naturally. – From the Path to the Soul Destiny Cards by Cheryl Lee Harnish

I have made a lot of progress over the past 2 years, and the more I commit to doing the inner work, the more open and free I become. The inner work never ends for any of us. As I learn, I teach, and through teaching, I learn. What a tremendous gift it is to live and breathe what I love to do!

He gave me a timeline of 2-3 months to fully bring my body into alignment. In this time I am focusing on meditation, studying, purifying my diet (ok, ok, after Thanksgiving…) exercise, shielding, grounding, and healing with crystals. Today I was walking around with moonstone, sunstone, and smoky quartz in my bra. Every day I choose a different combination of stones that feel right to me that morning. I am constantly asking that I be guided by spirit and I take my favourite affirmation wherever I go:

“Everything is always working out for me. My health is being restored to me now. And so it is.”

I have been using the flower meditation for 3 days now and I can report that I have been feeling a lot less sick! I am not even kidding when I say that hormonally I have been feeling like I’ve had morning sickness for 8 months!  Now whenever I feel it coming on, I have an outlet for that energy. If you are overly emotional I encourage you to give the meditation a try whenever you feel emotions coming on that you would like to release rather than relive.

Namaste.

oxox Amy.

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The big boys helping me create a crystal grid this evening for the purpose of sending healing energy to Mother Earth.

The Best Mirror in the World

Our children are our mirrors. They reflect back everything we do and all that we are. There is no escaping it. Habits, phrases, curse words, manners, laziness, energy, indifference, passion, perspective; they absorb it all like little sponges.  Your children will mirror the best of you and they will mirror the worst of you.

A few weeks ago we went for a walk and encountered a woman standing in the street yelling at her husband, who was near their house. I wondered if she had any idea what she was doing. It was a snapshot of their relationship, and while I don’t know the circumstances around this moment, my inner being could feel her pain.

Then she turned it off and said hello to us as nice as anyone has ever said hello. And after we passed, I wondered why we do it. Why are we the nicest version of ourselves in front of strangers, and the worst of ourselves to the ones we are supposed to love the most. We do it because we learned somewhere that it’s what you do.

As adults we can easily turn off our normal behaviour and be pleasant in public. We have the ability to turn off the hurt in our hearts and say hello to a stranger with kindness. But children aren’t yet aware of these social norms. They will not censor for others’ benefit. And that is the most beautiful thing about children. I love that about them. I immediately thought about how she was teaching her children in that moment. They are our mirrors, and being a parent is a golden opportunity for change.

Yes we can’t be loving all the time. We will have moments that we crack and let the darkness in, but as you become more and more aware of the cracks, you can heal them. You can keep the light in and the darkness out.

The first shift in awareness occurs when you shift from sleep into awareness. When you wake up from being the victim of circumstance and realize that you have the power to create your world, you have completed the first of many shifts.

The second shift occurs when you become aware of your actions. You see yourself reacting in ways you did in the past before you woke up, but you can’t seem to stop it. And that’s ok. First, you will be aware of these reactions, and then you will start to change them. Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes the tape will play out just as it would have in the past. It may take you years to feel like you have your reactions under control, and that’s ok too. Life is a sea of contrast. There is always room for improvement.

And just like improving your level of fitness, at some point you will shift from walking and running into running and sprinting. Eventually you will shift from watching yourself do something that you would rather not do, into a place of calmness and non-reaction. This is what I call the shift of detachment. When you can stop the cycle of reacting and place your focus, desire, and action on producing a different outcome, you will have successfully achieved a state of detachment and allowing.

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When I can detach from what my children are doing and keep my sanity about me, and act with love and guidance rather than anger, then I feel I have done the best I can do with my current knowledge.

When I have told them ten times to put on their pyjamas and they’re still running around like little crazy minions, I can get completely unhinged and yell at them.  I am aware while I am doing it that I am in misalignment with the version of myself that I wish to be – not just for my children’s sake, but for my own. As soon as I become aware, I take a step back from my yelling and reassess the situation. I don’t want them to go to bed with anger between us. I want them to feel loved.

So, I set them up for success. This may mean I actively get them dressed and brush their teeth while they continue to play. I don’t mind. Or it may mean getting them into their room and giving them the one on one attention they need to get the task done themselves. Whatever feels right in the moment is the path I take. The path changes daily.

Some nights I completely lose my mind, and that’s ok. I’m not perfect and I never will be. But I can forgive myself and learn from my mistakes and move forward. Self forgiveness is the key to lasting change, so be easy on yourself and keep moving forward.

I talk about my shortcomings with my children. I tell them why mommy acted the way she did, why it’s not okay, and tell them that it is not their fault. I tell them what I want to do differently next time and how they can help me to be the best mommy I can be.

The other day Oscar and Luca were on their scooters and we were crossing a busy street. They assume that because we are moving, it’s okay to cross, meanwhile as adults, we are assessing the situation and slowing down. They know to stop before every road and yet kept going because we were moving forward. We immediately yelled and screamed at them to stop, which is of course was out of love, but comes across as anger to a child.

We explained that we were not angry with them, but that they needed to be careful when crossing the street. In that moment we were acting out of love, but there was no time to lovingly address the situation! This is when it is important to talk with your children and explain what is happening.

I am constantly asking myself how I can act out of love with my children. Asking the question begs our subconscious to come up with an answer. Again, awareness is the light that shines on the darkness. How can I shift from fear and anger into love in this situation?

If you are angry around your children because of any number of reasons, they will internalize it without giving it a second thought. They pick up on the energy we are offering. Even as adults we tend to internalize anger. We may think, “Why are they mad at me?” or “What a bitch!” when 1, we are not the source of their anger and 2, we have no idea what circumstances have led to that behaviour.

And after they internalize this anger, they will radiate it. They will play it back to you. They will throw it in your face and you will know that you created this behaviour. Children are always watching, always mopping up our behaviour when we are least mindful of it.

Whether you are swearing in traffic, yelling at the dogs, stressed out because you’re going to be late for work, or whether your anger runs deep along the lines of resentment or withholding love from yourself, your children are taking it all in and learning that this is how they are to act in the world.

The more you can act out of love, let go of external circumstances and be loving anyway, the more your children with exude these behaviours. The more loving you are the more loving they will be. The more patient you are the more patient they will be. If there is something that is lacking in your children, then you must look within and see how you have been creating this behaviour.

For instance, I have a habit of saying “I hate that!” And of course, Luca is my little mirror and now he “hates” everything.  Now I am in the process of undoing the damage that I so carelessly created. Here’s another example. Our dogs go crazy when someone comes to the door. It’s like our 8 year old dachshund wants to kill them. I’m not kidding. He’s out of control. (Yes we created that behaviour too…) And due to our not being incredibly careful with our words, Oscar now tells the dogs to “Shut the fuck up!” He’s 4. I wonder where he got that? Another habit we need to unravel. I plug away at it every day.

Our kids listen to our actions rather than our words. We speak very clearly when we act. Actions don’t lie. Words do. When you tell a child to do A, but consistently show them that B is your preferred action, they will perform action B because they want to be just like you.

Are you the adult you want your children to be? Ask yourself this question and then change your thoughts and behaviours accordingly. If you want them to eat their vegetables then you have to eat their vegetables. If you want them to be kind, then you must be kind. If you want them to be healthy then you must be healthy. And it all starts with self love, which I have covered in previous blog posts, and which I will write about until the end of time. You must put yourself first if you are going to be able to give your children the best version of you so that you may help them to create the best versions of themselves.

Your children are your greatest chance to improve your behaviour for the better. Sometimes, when we have not yet managed to love ourselves, we will change for our children. If you need to use them as leverage, then use them. If you can’t love yourself for yourself, then love yourself for them. Eventually you will come to realize that it’s one and the same. We are all one.

Turn the Worry off and Eat Mindfully.

As a holistic nutritionist and self experimentation addict, I have tried so many different ways of eating. This is where it’s gotten me.

In my past I have worried incessantly about sugar. I have worried about buying conventional grapes over organic when I know organic is better. I have worried about not taking the plunge into eating 100% gluten free with my kids. I’ve worried about eating pizza when I should be eating a salad. Then there was that year and a half when I went vegan and worried about eating cheese. Then I was vegetarian and worried about eating meat. My worry even went as far as to worry about eating cooked food when I went “raw”! It’s insane!

Today I am convinced that worrying about your food hurts more than whatever food you are about to eat. I don’t worry about anything I eat anymore. Ever. I bless it and I enjoy it. If I had to label the way I eat today, I would say that I eat mindfully. I listen to my body and eat accordingly.

The number one thing our bodies need is water. We all wake up dehydrated due to air exchange during the night. So, when I wake up I drink 2 glasses of water with either lemon or apple cider vinegar squeezed in. Both are alkalizing and detoxifying. Then I drink plenty of water throughout the day, with lemon or ACV occasionally (about ¼ cup total).

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Once your body is well hydrated, choosing the right food becomes a lot easier. Your intuition will start to control your eating. For instance, I used to eat a lot of chocolate. But once I took care of my hydration, I would find myself reaching for the chocolate out of habit and not because I actually wanted any. It didn’t take long before I stopped reaching for it all the time, and saying no was easy.

However, when the kids have me stressed out and I need a moment to myself, I’ll grab a piece of chocolate, pop it into my mouth, close my eyes, and relax for 30 seconds. I use this moment as a quick grounding ritual. I close my eyes and set the intention to connect to my higher self and God. I breathe in love and peace and ask for the patience to respond to my children with love. I come out of it a lot better than I went in, and I’m a much better parent for this little ritual.

In general, I eat more fruit, vegetables, and protein than carbs. We drink green juice in the mornings and follow that up with protein powder later on. Then we eat lunch and then dinner. We don’t usually eat dessert, but I went through a phase in the summer where I ate ice cream every night! And then, one night, I didn’t want it anymore. My body needed to detoxify from the dairy, and I listened.

When you have a treat, eat it mindfully with joy. Know that it is exactly what your body and soul need at that moment! Eating with joy is probably the most important thing next to water. And when it doesn’t bring you joy anymore, then stop, as I stopped eating ice cream.

I set the intention every day to eat foods that heal my body and soul, and ask Archangel Raphael for help in breaking bad habits. I ask my body what it needs, and more often than not the answer is water. Ask your body questions and then wait for the answer. You may think the answer or feel the answer, but if you ask a question, know that the answer will be given. Look for it.

Angel Prayer: “Archangel Raphael, I ask that you guide me to foods that nourish my mind, body, and soul. I ask that you help me to incorporate movement into my day and that you help me to stay hydrated. And so it is!”

After you ask for guidance, be sure to listen for those subtle hints during the day. When you have a thought that pops into your head that you should drink some water, drink some water! If you feel that you should have a salad for lunch rather than your usual burger and fries, listen! Start to pay attention to your body, ask it what it needs, and then listen for the answer. Drink plenty of water and above all, enjoy your food!

Change your Thoughts to Change Your Life

All it takes is a simple change of thoughts to change your life. Just a little pivot here and there can bring you great joy. When you pay attention to how you feel and consistently change your thoughts so that you feel better, life gets really good – and it’s not as hard as you may think it is!

Here are the basics: whenever you feel bad, your thoughts are not serving you. Pick a new thought. Start anywhere. You can even start with, “I am so lucky to be able to choose what I think about! I may as well think something fun. What would be fun? I think I’m going to eat my favourite thing for dinner. Oh wow, the weather is really beautiful today. I think I’ll go for a walk on my lunch hour.” Keep the momentum going.  Go general like that if you can’t think of something specific. And be truthful. Don’t say anything you don’t believe because it won’t feel good. The idea is to think thoughts that make you feel good. If you go off on a tangent, get back on track!

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There really is no sense being in a bad mood when you can choose to be happy instead. Whenever I find myself in a bad mood whether I know the reason or not, I call on Archangel Michael to cut the ethereal cords of attachment. I wave my hand in front of my heart and ask that all energetic cords be severed and that my energy be mine alone.  Then I shake out any residual negative energy by shaking my hands and setting the intention to release it.

If I’m standing I will bounce up and down if possible. If I’m in the car, which is when I need to do this the most due to Toronto traffic – I will shake out my hands at a stop sign or red light. If you end up adopting these habits, don’t worry if other people are around.  You can either worry about what other people think, or you can feel better, but you can’t do both.

A note on worrying what others think… It is not worth your time nor your energy!  There is no basis of your worry thought in reality and chances are people are not even thinking about you – they’re thinking about them! If you really want to know what someone close to you is thinking – then ASK them! Most often we create a “reality” in our heads that is nowhere near the truth. Communication is key in relationships. All relationships. Either let it go on your own or clear the air verbally and then get back to whatever it is that makes you happy!

Love and Light, xo.

 

How To Find True Love

Have you ever realized just how beautifully life flows when you are in love? Being in love is the best feeling in the world. It’s magical. It’s unbelievable. Ridiculous. It’s a feeling that I cannot live without in this sometimes seemingly harsh human world.

When you really think about it, all you ever have is now, so you might as well enjoy it. This is it. How you are feeling at this moment is your magnet. That which is like unto itself is drawn, says Abraham and the Law of Attraction. Our thoughts create our experience. Why not think in love?

Your reality is yours and yours alone. There is no collective reality. We all have complete childhoods and life events that shape who we are. We learn good habits and bad habits and everything in between. It is our history that predisposes our thoughts to our current reality.

Until one day it doesn’t. One day we wake up. We step into our power and we are ready to take responsibility for our thoughts, our actions, and our lives. We get off the hamster wheel and realize just how amazing we are. We realize how amazing the world is. We realize how amazing the Universe is, and that the energy we have within us has the power to create worlds.

We realize that life is really, really great. We open our hearts to anyone and everyone and bleed kindness all around. There is nothing that we won’t tear down within us to recreate ourselves in this new vision of all encompassing love. We realize that we’ve been holding ourselves back all this time. Our unhappiness wasn’t caused by anything but our own fear. And all in one defining moment we realize that we can burst straight through fear’s door, broken hearted and all, fully capable and ready to align with that which we truly are: the magnificent being that God created us to be.

2015-08-22 18.37.57And looking back, it really is funny. We had the power within us the entire time, and we just didn’t know it. And life on the other side of heartbreak is beautiful. It’s inspiring. It’s more than you can even imagine. When you find your true love has been within you, it is you, you realize that you can never be alone again.

True love is yours the moment you step into your power. And you don’t even need to be heartbroken. You just have to entertain the idea that you are worthy. You are loved. And everything is always, always working out for you.

Today, love is my invisibility cloak. I try to wear it everywhere. When I wrap myself in love, nothing can touch me. I am unavailable for disaster to strike. I’m flying. I’m more accessible than I’ve ever been yet I am unreachable by many things that once crushed me. I take nothing personally anymore, and happiness finds me everywhere I go.

Today life brought me unexpectedly face to face with another I dearly love. In the same place at the same time, I walked into a coffee shop and heard my name. I looked up and saw my brother. Neither of us had a clue what the other was doing, but the Universe saw it fitting to bring two happy people together. Events like this are life’s true gift. The present moment is a gift all on its own, but this was the icing on the cake.