Are you Playing a Role? How to Recognize the Ego.

Do you ever catch yourself doing something because you are so caught up in situational social norms? How dedicated are you to playing the role of mother, father, adult, businessman, police officer, hockey ref, Doctor, etc? Do you even realize that you act differently in different social situations? Life is supposed to be fun! Stop taking yourself so seriously all the time.

There is no problem with having a role to play, but when you get so entrenched in a position that you forget WE ARE ALL ONE, the ego is in control. The human race is full of superiority and inferiority because of our human-ness. But if we can take a step back and honour the spirit within; if we can be present for each other and really see each other, we would loosen the hold the ego has on us and come home to the realization that we are all one. We are all equal. We are worthy. Money doesn’t make you worthy. It’s not about knowing more than someone else. It’s about kindness, and compassion, and support. It’s about love.

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When you take anything personally, you know you are in the hold of the ego. When you take life so seriously that it stops being fun, you know you are in the hold of the ego. Any time you feel superior or inferior, you are letting your ego run the show. Ego isn’t all about feeling important. It is in control when you feel like you don’t matter; when you feel people aren’t listening to you; when you feel like you could die and no one would care. The ego is a victim. It likes playing the role of victim and it likes taking advantage of others to make itself feel better or worse.

OK, OK, I GET IT. What can I do about it? You can shine a light on it. Stop doing, and reacting, and simply be present. Any time you recognize that you are playing a game, entrenched in a position, or acting in a certain way without really wanting to, you are taking yourself out of the game. When you start to see the different roles that you play, you are weakening the ego, moving away from collective unconsciousness and becoming a conscious creator.

When you can step away and be who you really are in that moment without the moment dictating what you do; without caring what others think, you are free. When you can be loving and kind when someone blatantly thinks you are a pushover and not care in the least, you are free. When you stop yelling and trying control the situation, and let the situation just be neutral, you are free. When you can be aware of your thinking pattern and know that your thoughts are not who you really are, you are free. You are free when you can have a mean judgemental thought about someone and just laugh at it, because you know one ridiculous thought does not equal who you are!

The thoughts that whiz by in your head all day long are not who you really are. You are the consciousness behind the thoughts. Don’t take your thoughts seriously. Don’t think you are a bad person because you have bad thoughts. We all have egos. We all compare ourselves to others at some time or another, but it’s not who we are! And when you equate yourself to your thoughts, you are not giving your beautiful spirit enough credit. Recognize those thoughts as the ego within, the scared little part of your human-ness that needs to feel special and needs to feel important, and recognize that you are much much more.

Being human is hard work! You are doing a fantastic job! And as you become more aware, you will do even better. The best is yet to come.

How to Get Out of Your Own Way

As I sit here wondering what is going to come through, I am surrounding by a throbbing heart opening energy that is literally making my entire body buzz with love for you. I want to remind you that love is available to you in each and every moment, and all you have to do to feel it is to let yourself receive it.

We spend so much time thinking ourselves unlovable and unsociable that we close the door to love. We spend so much time thinking about how annoying our spouse is that we block the love coming to us and from us. We block not only their love, but all love.

When you find yourself in anger, resentment, sadness, or are generally focusing on all the bad things that are happening to you, or to other people around you, or focusing on all of the bad things that could happen that you don’t want to happen, or…. well, you get the idea.

One thing I wish I had known much much earlier is this:

Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens from you.

– Abraham-Hicks

You are the one creating your reality. When you are focusing on what you don’t want, you get more of what you don’t want. Your thoughts send energy out into the world around you, and that energy interacts with the Universe. So, when you focus on all of the reasons that your relationship isn’t working, you will get more of your relationship not working.

When you’re driving a car, you want to look in the direction you want your car to go, right? That is exactly what you have to do in your relationships. If you can focus your thoughts on what you want more of, such as more love, affection, and passion by first thinking those thoughts, you will get more love, tenderness, affection, and passion from your partner simply by changing your own thoughts.

Why does this work? Because when you change your thoughts to be more loving, open, and receptive to love, your whole energy field will soften. Where your partner once sensed opposition and harsh energy, they will now feel love. The look in your eyes will change, and you will hold your body differently as well. Everything about you will change and they will sense it – and all of this happens without a single word.

It’s going to take some courage to open your heart like that, but there is nothing to fear. If you can’t open your heart to someone that you are already married or committed to, you probably shouldn’t be married or committed to them anyway, right? You have nothing to lose. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.

There is so much love available to you when you open yourself up to it. It is a shame that so many people keep it from themselves. When you shut your heart with a deep belief that you are unloveable, no one can get in. You have to first open yourself up, claim your lovability, and be the love that you desire. You must love yourself first. If you knew just how loved you really are, you would cry tears of happiness. This I know. <3

Love and light,

oxoxox

 

How to Lose Weight the Easy Way

They’re everywhere this time of year: Guilt, self-hatred, loathing, disgust, comparison, anorexia, bulimia, girls starving themselves, boys starving themselves, bingeing, more self-hatred, more disgust, more comparison, and more loathing.

What if, we just stopped? What if we could love ourselves just as we are? What if we could focus on all that we are rather than all we are not? What if we are perfect right now, right in this moment?

Let me tell you something: You are perfect.

And, you are not your body. You are the spirit inside the body. You can think of your body as a rental. It’s where you live right now, but it is not who you are. When you can love the spirit who resides in that body of yours, you can start to look past its “clothing” and see who you really are. So, body aside, who are you?

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Who you really are is a being of light and love. You are eternal. You are going about this world in a slight state of amnesia. You purposely chose this lifetime to learn for the advancement of your soul. Your inner being, that part of you that is still in spirit form, is nudging and guiding you constantly to help you remember who you are.  All you have to do is listen to that little voice in your head that you try to ignore.

Your inner being is that voice that wants to quit your job and work with horses. It’s that feeling you get when you get all warm and fuzzy and think about your deepest dreams. Your inner being wants to kiss more, cuddle more, visit with friends more, and eat and drink foods that taste amazing. It wants to go for long walks, have soul inspiring conversations, and have meaningful mind-blowing sex. It wants you to follow those sparks of inspiration that you ignore out of fear.

When you’re doing things that make you happy, you’re more aligned with who you really are. When you are feeling sadness, guilt, or fear, you are thinking or doing something that your inner being doesn’t agree with. When you are standing in front of the mirror criticizing your body, you feel bad. You feel bad because your inner being disagrees with you in that moment. Your inner being sees the perfection that you are. When you are comparing yourself to others, thinking you are fat and they are perfect, you feel bad. Once again, your inner being disagrees.  It knows that your body is not who you are, and it knows that you are perfect.

When you feel guilty, your inner being feels love. When you feel fat, your inner being feels love. When you feel disgusted, your inner being feels love. When you hate yourself, your inner being feels love. Do you see a pattern yet?

Your inner being loves you unconditionally. The more you can love yourself unconditionally, the more in alignment you will be with your spirit, and the happier you will become. And though self-love is probably the best thing in the whole entire world, an amazing side effect occurs when you love yourself unconditionally:

You lose weight.

When you love yourself, you will take care of yourself. Foods that used to taste good won’t taste good anymore. You’ll spend long hours doing something you love and you’ll forget all about food. Have you ever been doing something that you were so passionate about that you forgot to eat? Or, you’ll go out with friends and eat anything and everything you want and you won’t stress about it! The freedom you will feel!

We overeat because there is something missing in our lives. We’re bored. We’re looking for the next best thing to love or the next person who can give us love and attention because we’re starving for it. We are so starved for love and affection because we’ve been withholding it from ourselves for so long. We’ve neglected our inner being. We’ve stuffed food down our throats to appease that uneasy feeling inside, but not listening to that feeling inside is why we’re feeling uneasy in the first place! And then society shames us for being fat and so we shame ourselves because we’ve learned that’s what we’re supposed to do.

Your inner being is trying to get your attention. That uneasiness you feel can only be calmed one way, and that is by listening to it and changing course. If thinking a certain thought feels bad, choose another thought. Choose loving thoughts about your body and see your body change. Send your body love, and it will respond by loving you back. Stop being so hard on yourself and shift the momentum in a loving direction. Take your power back from society and start loving the spirit you are, just as your inner being does: unconditionally.

Action steps:

Tonight when you go to bed, list all of the reasons why you love yourself. What went really well today? What were your successes?

Next, appreciate your body for all that it does for you. Thank your lungs for breathing, and your feet for carrying you through the day. Thank your knees for supporting you and your hands and arms for the ability to hug others. Thank your eyes for seeing and your tongue for tasting. Touch your body and thank it for being your home in this lifetime. Touch your breasts and acknowledge their beauty. Thank them for feeding your babies and send them love. Send all of your body parts love. They are beautiful. You are beautiful – just the way you are.

 

The Joy of Being Alone.

Right now my house is quiet. Blissfully quiet. The kids have all been delivered to their respective schools, my hubby is working at Starbucks…on his laptop, and I have about 5 places I need to be right now and a huge project I need to finish by tomorrow. So naturally I don’t want to do anything at all right now but sit in the glorious silence that surrounds me. And once again, the silence brought my fingers to this keyboard, and here we are.

The silence is where I can be wholly me, unaltered by others’ energy fields, their expectations, their desires, their needs, their incessant whining about needing to be fed on a consistent basis. What’s that all about anyway?

Silence is golden. And it’s something you don’t fully realize until it becomes really really hard to obtain. It wasn’t until we had 3 kids and 2 dogs running around that we understood just how golden silence really is. It’s funny that we need the contrast of what we don’t want to finally understand what we do want. If you are constantly running around like a headless chicken, it’s high time you throw a cushion on the floor and take a seat.

I didn’t understand just how unhappy I had been until I started to get glimpses of happiness. You can spend your whole life in a downward spiral of gloom and doom  thinking it’s normal. And while it may indeed be normal, it’s not what you are meant to live.

Are you smiling right now? You should be. Are you excited when you wake up in the morning or do you have an adult temper tantrum in your head when you open your eyes? Are you happy to be alive, happy to make choices every day about which direction you want your life to go? Are you crying happy tears right now, or sad ones?

Let me ask you this: When was the last time you laughed so hard for so long that you just couldn’t stop. And when you looked at someone, they started laughing too, just because you were laughing, and when you think about that moment now, you laugh about it still! Was it yesterday, or was it when you were a child?

Without knowing it, we learn how to be adults from our parents. Children see and hear everything, even the things that adults wish they could desperately hide from them, because the loudest things we hear aren’t being said, they’re being felt. When my marriage fell apart my kids saw it, they heard it, and they felt it. I knew it, and I did my best to hold it together. I don’t know if I did it for them or for me, but I knew that being strong was the only choice worth making.

Choosing fear was not an option. I had chosen fear my entire life, and look where it had gotten me. So I chose differently. I chose love. And it was the best choice I have ever made in my entire life. I decided to love everyone and everything, but most of all, I finally gave myself permission to love myself.

Among other things, meditation saved me. I believed in angels and guides already, so I decided to go all in and entertain the whole God idea. I sat in silence and prayed. I prayed for strength and courage and guidance and infinite love and support. I prayed to all of the Archangels I could name to enter into my life and help me transform into this person I knew I could be. I prayed to Archangel Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, Chamuel, Michael, Remiel, Raziel, Zadkiel, Jophiel, Sandalphon, Metatron and more. I brought them into the car with me, into the shower, everywhere. I stopped listening to music. I stopped watching television. My perspective had totally shifted and I wanted one thing more than anything in the entire world: I wanted to stop being numb and start directing my life. I wanted to take my power back and be blissfully happy.

For the first time in my life I understood that it was my job to make myself happy – no one else’s. I finally understood just how much I had given my power away throughout the years. I gave it away all over the place. I gave it to anyone who did anything better than me. I gave it to anyone who did anything at all because I assumed they would do it better than me. And all the while, this really awesome spirit inside of me was suffocating, willing me to step up and step into my power, but it was too scary to be strong, so I kept choosing fear.

This seems like the perfect time to introduce my favourite quote. And while Elanor is granted having said this, it seems to be a paraphrase of a conversation she once had. Either way, I wish I could have coffee with her sometime:

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Why would I keep choosing fear? The best answer I have for this question is that a fear response on this level is learned. Learning not to touch a hot stove was something I could learn all on my own. It’s instinctual. But learning to be scared to talk on the telephone is not. Mostly I learned how to be scared from my mother, and because I operated at the vibration of fear, it was the only signal my antennae picked up. I was so fearful that I was attracting fearful people to my experience. I could only see the fearful outcomes of situations because I never entertained the idea that maybe I could be strong.

Over time I had chosen fear so often that it was an ingrained response. My fear neurons had created a super highway in my brain and there was no off ramp.

Two years ago, I sat down with a psychic medium who told me that I hadn’t laughed in 3 years. At first I was defensive. But a split second later I knew she was right. 3 YEARS! That is a long time to be unhappy. Thank God I was on a quest to be happy. It was my happiness quest that brought me to her in the first place. She told me that I too had gifts. She told me that I have the power to sit on her side of the table, and I knew she was right. The more I sit in silence, the more I am able to tap into them.

You too have powerful gifts. The best way I know to access them is to find joy in silence. Get to know yourself intimately by carving out a few minutes to enjoy your own company. Get to know the spirit within that is wanting so very badly to be heard.

Don’t use an excuse. Don’t do that. Don’t say that you don’t have time. Make time. Instead of laying down immediately when you go to bed, sit up. Sit on your bed, prop yourself up with pillows, and breathe. It’s that easy. You’re meditating. Turn off the radio in your car. Close your eyes at red lights and take a few deep breaths until the guy behind you honks to tell you your time is up!

Take a break from social media. That should free up a few hours ;). If there is a show you’re really excited to watch, watch it! Enjoy it, and be happy! But if you’re mindlessly flipping through television stations, turn it off and hang out with your spirit. It’s time well spent. Take your power back and be happy, wild, and free!

8 Reasons You Are Unhappy With Your Body and What to do About it

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I know how you feel. You look at your body in the mirror and instantly feel deflated. You don’t know how you’re going to get to the body of your dreams from where you are. You seem to gain weight just be looking at food, and you have no idea what you are doing wrong! We’ve all been there, but there is a way out, and the way out may surprise you!

Here are 8 reasons why you may be stuck, and what you can do about it right now.

 1. You tend to focus on what you don’t want.

The fastest way to get what you don’t want is by focusing on what you don’t want. So how do you change things around? Focus on what you DO want. Focus all of your energy on everything you’re doing right, not what you are doing wrong. Change your thoughts, and you change your life.

2. You’re not happy, period.

Happiness is a package deal. When one thing goes wrong, it seems to create a domino effect and takes your whole life with it. This is in line with #1, and you may see a theme here, because it’s all tied in together. If you can focus on what is going right in your life, the domino effect will kick in and you will gain momentum in all other areas of your life. Even if 9 out of 10 things in your life are going wrong, your attention to what is going right can turn everything around.

3.  You’re too serious.

Each morning when you wake up, set the intention to be happy. Make the decision to be happy anyway, regardless of what is happening around you. Make it your intention to have fun no matter what. Laugh more, worry less. If you catch yourself worrying about something, distract yourself! Watch a funny youtube video. Or learn something new. Go to your happy place and soak up the sunshine waiting for you there.

4. You focus on the problem when you should focus on the solution.

Ta-Da! Again, we want to steer the car forward, not backward. Focus on the problem just long enough to see what direction you want the solution to go. Use the contrast of what you don’t want to create the desire for what you do want, and take it from there. If you want a fit body, ask yourself how you can create it instead of asking why you can’t do it. Create an empowering environment, like easy access to the gym or hot yoga, and buy only health promoting foods. Have healthy snacks on hand at all times!

5. You spend more time doing than being.

There are so many distractions in our society! If you take a break and head to facebook, you’ll probably end up feeling worse rather than refreshed. If you can resist the facebook/instagram/pinterest urge and find 5 minutes a day to sit quietly and go within, you can tap into guidance that is not available to you when you’re too busy doing. If you can find 15 minutes in your day, it’s even better. Meditation is your personal spiritual goldmine. Your angels and guides are waiting patiently to help you, so quiet your mind and see what guidance is waiting for you there.

6. You’re not asking the right questions.

During your quiet time, ask yourself questions and wait for the answer. Ask things like “What is my favourite thing to do? What do I enjoy about my job? If I could delegate some work, what would I be happy to get off my plate?” You may be surprised at the answers that come up. Ask any and every question that pops into your head. You may want to have a pen and paper beside you in case you want to write something down. Use this newfound awareness to create the life you desire.

7. You’re trying to do everything yourself.

This is something you may resist, but if you can put your ego aside for a moment, everything will get easier if you do just this one thing. Here it is: Ask God to help you see the situation differently; Ask to see through the eyes of God. You are perfect as you are. You are loved unconditionally. All of the obsessing we do about our bodies that makes us feel terrible is because we are thinking thoughts that God does not have about us. If you can let go of physical perfection and really know that you are already a perfect spiritual being, you will be in alignment with spiritual truth. I asked God for help and what I got was “You are not your body.” It hit me like a brick in the face. Our spirit is eternal. Our bodies are not who we are. Our body is our temporary home and they are nothing without the spirit. When we “fix” the body we are ignoring our spirit. This is why people can spend thousands of dollars perfecting their bodies and still feel unsatisfied. The body isn’t the problem, it’s the spirit that is undernourished. Feed your spirit and your body will follow the domino effect.

8. You don’t love yourself.

We all have those I hate my body moments. Each time it comes up, change your thoughts to love. Focus on everything you love about yourself each and every day. Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself how proud you are and how amazing you are. Love other peoples’ bodies. Bless them instead of judging them. Ask God to turn your judgements into love. This is hard. It’s hard to stop judging. I probably ask God to change my thoughts hundreds of times each day. “How can I see this person with love? What am I missing?” Ask the questions and you’ll get answers. Lasting change begins with your mind.

PRACTICE (1)

You may have noticed that a lot of this has nothing to do with your body! That’s because by focusing on the problem, you get more of the problem! The moment I decided to stop worrying about my body and started focusing on what I loved to do in my life, my body stopped being a problem. I started loving it unconditionally, and it changed.

Here is an example of what I say to myself. You can use this as a template to make it fit in line with your beliefs. The Universe responds to what you mean, not what you say, so make sure you are being authentically you:

“Thank you, body, for being my home on planet earth. Thank you for supporting my daily activities like hockey and hot yoga. Thank you for being so easy to change. I love that I can choose to be active and that I can change my body through my desire to be fit and healthy.

Thank you God for helping me to choose healthy foods to eat, and for blessing me with love each and every day. Thank you for helping me to choose thoughts of love and for answering my prayers to see things differently when I am having difficulty seeing with love.

There is nothing more important to me than being happy, so thank you for the contrast I feel each and every day; I know there is guidance within my negative emotions. It is what illuminates the path before me. It lets me know when I am not being loving to myself or another, and helps me to choose love.”

If you do the work necessary to put a smile on your face, everything else will fall into place. Every problem is due to a lack of love. So the solution is infusing love into everyone and everything. If you have a problem with your spouse, heal it with love. If you have a problem with your body, heal it with love. If you have a problem with your child, heal it with love. You can apply this to anything! If you have a problem with your cell phone, see the situation differently and be grateful that you have one in the first place! See all things with love and watch your world transform before your eyes.

New is Always Possible.

Have you ever had this conversation? You get together with friends you haven’t seen in awhile and ask them what’s new. And they literally say nothing. “Nothing. Same old stuff.” It’s depressing hearing about it and it’s got to be depressing talking about it. Even before I went through this life transformation, these kinds of conversations sucked the life out of me. And now that I know that life is what you make it, these kinds of conversations are nothing short of suffocating.

I find myself silently (or no so silently depending on the situation) backing out of old unfulfilling relationships and running full of excitement toward others. I used to feel bad about it but not any more.

When relationships become difficult to maintain, a lot of the time it’s the Universe nudging us in a different direction. If you’ve tried for months to get together with a friend and it seems to never work out, it’s worth directing a little mental effort toward the situation and asking yourself if perhaps the relationship has run its course.

The same goes with family members. If the family you grew up in provided nothing but discomfort, that discomfort is a blessing. Your soul is using discomfort to direct you in another direction. You were born into what you don’t want so that your soul could yearn and create the desire for the life you do want.

Without this contrast it would be very difficult to know what direction you want to travel. If we were all born with the proverbial silver spoon in our mouths, we may not find the inspiration to create the life of our dreams. A lot of the fun comes from the creative aspect of molding our lives the way we want them to be. Discontent brings clarity in a way because by knowing what we do want, we know clearly what we do want!

Now, how do you get it? You learn to listen to your heart and put into action the guidance you receive. You learn to say no to what you don’t enjoy and YES to everything else.

Just today I was asked if I would like to provide recipes for a new start up business. Yesterday I was asked if I wanted to take photos for a new cookbook, and my answer was an unapologetic “no” both times. I still explained myself but my spirit made no apologies. It just wouldn’t bring me joy.

Now, if she had asked to book  a life coaching session I would be there in a heartbeat! Why? Because it fires me up. It excites me. It brings my light into this world. I love to bring joy into other people’s lives by helping them see how incredibly powerful they are! There is nothing more exciting for me than witnessing someone stepping into their power and taking control of their lives. It’s incredibly beautiful to witness.

If you’re stuck in a rut, I want you to know that all you have to do is ask yourself the right questions. What fires me up? What is exciting? If your life is lacking excitement, you don’t need to go out and have an affair. You don’t need to smoke up or take mind altering drugs. You don’t need to drink. And you certainly don’t need to order pizza and binge watch Netflix another night in a row.

What you need to do is wake up. Wake up to the spirit within that is trying to get your attention. Feel into the discomfort in your life and ask your spirit what it is trying to tell you. You are the only person who can make you happy. No person/place/thing can do it for you. No affair/vacation/new car will fill the void that listening to your spirit can fill. Happiness is an inside job and that will never, ever change.

A new outlook is possible. A new norm is possible. A new love of self is possible. Reigniting a failing marriage is possible. Creating a new relationship with your kids is possible. Completely changing careers in mid life is possible.

Creating a new exciting life right now is possible. But the only path I know that works is through complete honesty, integrity and truth between you and you.

It’s through humility. It’s through love. It’s through your heart. It’s through your spirit; your soul; your inner being; your higher self. It’s through having the tough conversations in silence that your ego tries to avoid through action. It’s about slowing down, going within, and asking yourself what it’s really going to take for you to be happy. Because if you’re not happy, what’s the point of all this anyway?

My Thoughts do not Mean Anything

Today is Day 10 for me in the Workbook for Students, and the lesson is this:

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This is a concept that I’ve been aware of ever since I read The Untethered Soul a couple of years ago. In it, Michael Singer states that we are not the thoughts that we think, but rather the consciousness behind the thoughts. This is something that made sense immediately for me since I’ve always been amazed by what my ego comes up with! I am so grateful to know that I am not equal to the horrific things my mind projects sometimes!

You are not your thoughts. Do not dwell on them. You are not a horrible person for having that thought. You are not equal to your thoughts. This does not mean that you are not responsible for your thoughts, however. The ego is constantly trying to be better than others, trying to one-up them, and make itself more special than others. It judges, criticizes, and wants to be cooler than everyone else. It is your responsibility to watch these thoughts and then change them.

It’s up to you to choose love over judgement, love over hate, and love over anger, etc. When you choose love, you are strengthening it. When you choose any of the lower vibrations, you are strengthening that choice as well. When you become aware of a low vibrational thought, simply steer that thought in a loving direction.

For instance: If you walk by someone and think “what an ugly person,” you have just created a learning experience for yourself in which you must see them with love! Find the perfection of God in them. It is there. When you see love in others, you strengthen it in yourself. Every moment is a learning experience.

Our egos are constantly projecting our fears onto others, and this produces nothing but hurt. When we get angry with others for exuding a trait that we cannot stand (which exists within ourselves and we do not like it), we are increasing the feeling of separation we feel between who we are being in that moment, and who we really are, which is full of love.

It will never do us any good to criticize others (or ourselves). It sends bad energy out into the world and returns bad energy a thousandfold to us. It hurts us because it separates us from love. When you choose hurt, you are turning your back on love. You cannot have both.

To be human is to perceive. We cannot help it. Our reality will forever be shaped by our history for the most part. When we see things, we aren’t seeing them as they are now. We see them as a compilation of our unique history. For instance, have you ever heard someone’s name and had a visceral reaction to them because you used to know someone with that name and didn’t like them?

This is why we must pay attention to our thoughts. We must make it our life’s mission to see only love, to teach only love, and to lead by example.

Exercise: This may be counterintuitive for some of you but I challenge you to stick with it and go the distance! Here it is: Pay attention to your thoughts for 10 minutes. Watch them from the seat of awareness behind the thoughts. Do not judge yourself. When an unloving thought arises, you can restate the thought in positive terms, or you can just let it go by and say “What a funny thought!” If you’re really stuck with seeing the bright side of a low vibrational thought, choose any loving thought you can think of, or simply state something that you are grateful for in this moment.

Example thought: “I can’t believe how stupid that person is.” Positive tuning thought: “We all do the best we can.”

Example thought: “That guy is the worst driver ever” Positive tuning thought: “I’m going to slow down and give him some space.”

Example thought: “My kids are driving me insane.” Positive tuning thought: “They really are good kids. They just need some attention.”

Have a lovely day!

XOXO Amy.

Meditation to Calm the Emotional Body

I had an appointment with spirit a few days ago. I was nervous before the call began, but once I was in it, everything was just perfect. I was calm, open, and in tune with that which I really am.

I’ve been an emotional person for as long as I can remember. I pick up any and all energy around me and sometimes it takes me way too long to realize that what I am carrying isn’t mine. I clear myself whenever I make that connection, and then I feel like me once again. I clear and shield myself many times each day.

For instance, when I dropped my son off at his first day of kindergarten, I cried like crazy, which may seem normal, but it’s not my normal. While walking back to the house I asked Archangel Michael to clear me and I immediately stopped crying and felt like myself again. What happened is that I picked up on the collective energy that day which was probably mostly from the kids who were feeling the parental/child separation deeply.

So, when I spoke with Mel, who was channeling a reading for me with his higher self, John, he narrowed in on my emotional body immediately and how it was running away with me. I asked him why I feel so sick so often, and he said that I have been an emotional dumping ground and it’s gotten to the point where I am physically manifesting imbalance, which are hormonal issues in my case. I have only one working ovary (which John told me approx. 8 years ago) and the one that does work is rampant with male energy.

Most of my questions were given the same answer: Meditate frequently and focus on the heart centre. My homework is to picture a flower while sitting and meditating – any flower in any colour – and rhythmically breathe in new energy from Mother Earth while releasing old pent up energy. In addition to meditation, I am to focus on whole foods and eat nothing processed at all. I must also go to an energy healer and have them retune my ovaries and open the meridians on the bottom of my feet so that energy can flow through my body (I had this done 8 years ago as well and it was amazing).  I need to focus on bringing energy into my heart chakra.

This morning I pulled this ever so fitting card from my oracle deck:

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You are awakening to your Inner Light an opening to new levels of spiritual understanding and awareness. Guides and teachers are working with you to assist in this awakening. Support is coming in the human form as well. Those who are knowledgeable and experienced will be there to offer their support as needed. The main color of green in this card shows that, to know our own Inner Light is to know our own Heart. Enjoy the experience, stay connected and the rest will happen naturally. – From the Path to the Soul Destiny Cards by Cheryl Lee Harnish

I have made a lot of progress over the past 2 years, and the more I commit to doing the inner work, the more open and free I become. The inner work never ends for any of us. As I learn, I teach, and through teaching, I learn. What a tremendous gift it is to live and breathe what I love to do!

He gave me a timeline of 2-3 months to fully bring my body into alignment. In this time I am focusing on meditation, studying, purifying my diet (ok, ok, after Thanksgiving…) exercise, shielding, grounding, and healing with crystals. Today I was walking around with moonstone, sunstone, and smoky quartz in my bra. Every day I choose a different combination of stones that feel right to me that morning. I am constantly asking that I be guided by spirit and I take my favourite affirmation wherever I go:

“Everything is always working out for me. My health is being restored to me now. And so it is.”

I have been using the flower meditation for 3 days now and I can report that I have been feeling a lot less sick! I am not even kidding when I say that hormonally I have been feeling like I’ve had morning sickness for 8 months!  Now whenever I feel it coming on, I have an outlet for that energy. If you are overly emotional I encourage you to give the meditation a try whenever you feel emotions coming on that you would like to release rather than relive.

Namaste.

oxox Amy.

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The big boys helping me create a crystal grid this evening for the purpose of sending healing energy to Mother Earth.

The Best Mirror in the World

Our children are our mirrors. They reflect back everything we do and all that we are. There is no escaping it. Habits, phrases, curse words, manners, laziness, energy, indifference, passion, perspective; they absorb it all like little sponges.  Your children will mirror the best of you and they will mirror the worst of you.

A few weeks ago we went for a walk and encountered a woman standing in the street yelling at her husband, who was near their house. I wondered if she had any idea what she was doing. It was a snapshot of their relationship, and while I don’t know the circumstances around this moment, my inner being could feel her pain.

Then she turned it off and said hello to us as nice as anyone has ever said hello. And after we passed, I wondered why we do it. Why are we the nicest version of ourselves in front of strangers, and the worst of ourselves to the ones we are supposed to love the most. We do it because we learned somewhere that it’s what you do.

As adults we can easily turn off our normal behaviour and be pleasant in public. We have the ability to turn off the hurt in our hearts and say hello to a stranger with kindness. But children aren’t yet aware of these social norms. They will not censor for others’ benefit. And that is the most beautiful thing about children. I love that about them. I immediately thought about how she was teaching her children in that moment. They are our mirrors, and being a parent is a golden opportunity for change.

Yes we can’t be loving all the time. We will have moments that we crack and let the darkness in, but as you become more and more aware of the cracks, you can heal them. You can keep the light in and the darkness out.

The first shift in awareness occurs when you shift from sleep into awareness. When you wake up from being the victim of circumstance and realize that you have the power to create your world, you have completed the first of many shifts.

The second shift occurs when you become aware of your actions. You see yourself reacting in ways you did in the past before you woke up, but you can’t seem to stop it. And that’s ok. First, you will be aware of these reactions, and then you will start to change them. Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes the tape will play out just as it would have in the past. It may take you years to feel like you have your reactions under control, and that’s ok too. Life is a sea of contrast. There is always room for improvement.

And just like improving your level of fitness, at some point you will shift from walking and running into running and sprinting. Eventually you will shift from watching yourself do something that you would rather not do, into a place of calmness and non-reaction. This is what I call the shift of detachment. When you can stop the cycle of reacting and place your focus, desire, and action on producing a different outcome, you will have successfully achieved a state of detachment and allowing.

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When I can detach from what my children are doing and keep my sanity about me, and act with love and guidance rather than anger, then I feel I have done the best I can do with my current knowledge.

When I have told them ten times to put on their pyjamas and they’re still running around like little crazy minions, I can get completely unhinged and yell at them.  I am aware while I am doing it that I am in misalignment with the version of myself that I wish to be – not just for my children’s sake, but for my own. As soon as I become aware, I take a step back from my yelling and reassess the situation. I don’t want them to go to bed with anger between us. I want them to feel loved.

So, I set them up for success. This may mean I actively get them dressed and brush their teeth while they continue to play. I don’t mind. Or it may mean getting them into their room and giving them the one on one attention they need to get the task done themselves. Whatever feels right in the moment is the path I take. The path changes daily.

Some nights I completely lose my mind, and that’s ok. I’m not perfect and I never will be. But I can forgive myself and learn from my mistakes and move forward. Self forgiveness is the key to lasting change, so be easy on yourself and keep moving forward.

I talk about my shortcomings with my children. I tell them why mommy acted the way she did, why it’s not okay, and tell them that it is not their fault. I tell them what I want to do differently next time and how they can help me to be the best mommy I can be.

The other day Oscar and Luca were on their scooters and we were crossing a busy street. They assume that because we are moving, it’s okay to cross, meanwhile as adults, we are assessing the situation and slowing down. They know to stop before every road and yet kept going because we were moving forward. We immediately yelled and screamed at them to stop, which is of course was out of love, but comes across as anger to a child.

We explained that we were not angry with them, but that they needed to be careful when crossing the street. In that moment we were acting out of love, but there was no time to lovingly address the situation! This is when it is important to talk with your children and explain what is happening.

I am constantly asking myself how I can act out of love with my children. Asking the question begs our subconscious to come up with an answer. Again, awareness is the light that shines on the darkness. How can I shift from fear and anger into love in this situation?

If you are angry around your children because of any number of reasons, they will internalize it without giving it a second thought. They pick up on the energy we are offering. Even as adults we tend to internalize anger. We may think, “Why are they mad at me?” or “What a bitch!” when 1, we are not the source of their anger and 2, we have no idea what circumstances have led to that behaviour.

And after they internalize this anger, they will radiate it. They will play it back to you. They will throw it in your face and you will know that you created this behaviour. Children are always watching, always mopping up our behaviour when we are least mindful of it.

Whether you are swearing in traffic, yelling at the dogs, stressed out because you’re going to be late for work, or whether your anger runs deep along the lines of resentment or withholding love from yourself, your children are taking it all in and learning that this is how they are to act in the world.

The more you can act out of love, let go of external circumstances and be loving anyway, the more your children with exude these behaviours. The more loving you are the more loving they will be. The more patient you are the more patient they will be. If there is something that is lacking in your children, then you must look within and see how you have been creating this behaviour.

For instance, I have a habit of saying “I hate that!” And of course, Luca is my little mirror and now he “hates” everything.  Now I am in the process of undoing the damage that I so carelessly created. Here’s another example. Our dogs go crazy when someone comes to the door. It’s like our 8 year old dachshund wants to kill them. I’m not kidding. He’s out of control. (Yes we created that behaviour too…) And due to our not being incredibly careful with our words, Oscar now tells the dogs to “Shut the fuck up!” He’s 4. I wonder where he got that? Another habit we need to unravel. I plug away at it every day.

Our kids listen to our actions rather than our words. We speak very clearly when we act. Actions don’t lie. Words do. When you tell a child to do A, but consistently show them that B is your preferred action, they will perform action B because they want to be just like you.

Are you the adult you want your children to be? Ask yourself this question and then change your thoughts and behaviours accordingly. If you want them to eat their vegetables then you have to eat their vegetables. If you want them to be kind, then you must be kind. If you want them to be healthy then you must be healthy. And it all starts with self love, which I have covered in previous blog posts, and which I will write about until the end of time. You must put yourself first if you are going to be able to give your children the best version of you so that you may help them to create the best versions of themselves.

Your children are your greatest chance to improve your behaviour for the better. Sometimes, when we have not yet managed to love ourselves, we will change for our children. If you need to use them as leverage, then use them. If you can’t love yourself for yourself, then love yourself for them. Eventually you will come to realize that it’s one and the same. We are all one.

Turn the Worry off and Eat Mindfully.

As a holistic nutritionist and self experimentation addict, I have tried so many different ways of eating. This is where it’s gotten me.

In my past I have worried incessantly about sugar. I have worried about buying conventional grapes over organic when I know organic is better. I have worried about not taking the plunge into eating 100% gluten free with my kids. I’ve worried about eating pizza when I should be eating a salad. Then there was that year and a half when I went vegan and worried about eating cheese. Then I was vegetarian and worried about eating meat. My worry even went as far as to worry about eating cooked food when I went “raw”! It’s insane!

Today I am convinced that worrying about your food hurts more than whatever food you are about to eat. I don’t worry about anything I eat anymore. Ever. I bless it and I enjoy it. If I had to label the way I eat today, I would say that I eat mindfully. I listen to my body and eat accordingly.

The number one thing our bodies need is water. We all wake up dehydrated due to air exchange during the night. So, when I wake up I drink 2 glasses of water with either lemon or apple cider vinegar squeezed in. Both are alkalizing and detoxifying. Then I drink plenty of water throughout the day, with lemon or ACV occasionally (about ¼ cup total).

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Once your body is well hydrated, choosing the right food becomes a lot easier. Your intuition will start to control your eating. For instance, I used to eat a lot of chocolate. But once I took care of my hydration, I would find myself reaching for the chocolate out of habit and not because I actually wanted any. It didn’t take long before I stopped reaching for it all the time, and saying no was easy.

However, when the kids have me stressed out and I need a moment to myself, I’ll grab a piece of chocolate, pop it into my mouth, close my eyes, and relax for 30 seconds. I use this moment as a quick grounding ritual. I close my eyes and set the intention to connect to my higher self and God. I breathe in love and peace and ask for the patience to respond to my children with love. I come out of it a lot better than I went in, and I’m a much better parent for this little ritual.

In general, I eat more fruit, vegetables, and protein than carbs. We drink green juice in the mornings and follow that up with protein powder later on. Then we eat lunch and then dinner. We don’t usually eat dessert, but I went through a phase in the summer where I ate ice cream every night! And then, one night, I didn’t want it anymore. My body needed to detoxify from the dairy, and I listened.

When you have a treat, eat it mindfully with joy. Know that it is exactly what your body and soul need at that moment! Eating with joy is probably the most important thing next to water. And when it doesn’t bring you joy anymore, then stop, as I stopped eating ice cream.

I set the intention every day to eat foods that heal my body and soul, and ask Archangel Raphael for help in breaking bad habits. I ask my body what it needs, and more often than not the answer is water. Ask your body questions and then wait for the answer. You may think the answer or feel the answer, but if you ask a question, know that the answer will be given. Look for it.

Angel Prayer: “Archangel Raphael, I ask that you guide me to foods that nourish my mind, body, and soul. I ask that you help me to incorporate movement into my day and that you help me to stay hydrated. And so it is!”

After you ask for guidance, be sure to listen for those subtle hints during the day. When you have a thought that pops into your head that you should drink some water, drink some water! If you feel that you should have a salad for lunch rather than your usual burger and fries, listen! Start to pay attention to your body, ask it what it needs, and then listen for the answer. Drink plenty of water and above all, enjoy your food!